The Best Condom Resources (now that SCOTUS has fucked with your contraception)

Proving, once again, that the United States legal system favors companies over civilians, is grossly inefficient, and is sexist as all hell, SCOTUS has decided that your employer has the right to deny you contraception coverage. For some people, this may mean taking a (often costly) day off and trekking to Planned Parenthood. For others, it might mean paying astronomical copays to get the pill that’s right for their body.

If you’re anything like me, you aren’t opposed to leaning on condoms in times of lean contraceptives. Because it took me two years to find the right method, I spent a lot of time testing condoms, from the amazing to the meh to the sandwich bag. So, for all of you getting fucked by SCOTUS…

1. Lucky Bloke: Lucky Bloke is one of my all time favorite condom retailers. They have mixed packs, so you can find out exactly what you like. Additionally, they carry packs of small, large, or just normal sized condoms, so if your member swings a bit to one side of average, they’ve literally got you covered. Their page of Ultimate Samplers is my favorite. Best of all, if you spend $24, they’ll ship anywhere in the world for free.

2. SheVibe: Did you really think I was going to make a post about where to get things and not include my boos at SheVibe? Like most everything in their massive selection, their condoms are quality. And they offer Glyde dental dams, which are notoriously hard to find (but essential if you’re into safe cunni- or anal-ingus). My favorites? I will always choose Lifestyles SKYN over any other brand. Plus, their lube selection is phenomenal and includes plenty of glycerin- and paraben-free options, and even some that are certified vegan or organic.

3. When you click on Lovehoney’s condom page, you will see 70 results. Seventy. That means that the odds of finding something that work perfectly for you and your partner are high. Lovehoney even carries some of the awesome but lesser-known brands like MySize, which are sized more specifically to give you just the right fit, and Skins, which are popular overseas but haven’t quite hit mainstream status in America yet.

4. Wallgreens: If you really want to do this in stealth mode while still having all the convenience of online delivery, Wallgreens actually offers a really impressive selection of condoms and lubricant. You can get my favorite Lifestyles SKYN along with most of the other big names, as well as a range of female contraceptives like FC2 and the sponge. Bonus: YOU CAN ORDER SLIQUID, which is only my favorite lube in the known universe!

5. As the name implies, sells, well, a whole lotta condoms. They have probably the widest variety of condoms I have ever seen in one place. It can be a bit overwhelming, but if you have you eye on a particular brand and you don’t know where to find it, it’s worth a look. Crown? They got ’em. Kimono? Got ’em. Apparently, there’s even a brand called Contempo, which I thought made casual clothes in the 90s (but what do I know?).

Until we start to get our rights back, best of luck to you and your continued sex life. I sincerely hope this SCOTUS fuckery doesn’t fuck with your fucking.