Posts Tagged ‘wellness’

The Best Condom Resources (now that SCOTUS has fucked with your contraception)

Proving, once again, that the United States legal system favors companies over civilians, is grossly inefficient, and is sexist as all hell, SCOTUS has decided that your employer has the right to deny you contraception coverage. For some people, this may mean taking a (often costly) day off and trekking to Planned Parenthood. For others, it might mean paying astronomical copays to get the pill that’s right for their body.

If you’re anything like me, you aren’t opposed to leaning on condoms in times of lean contraceptives. Because it took me two years to find the right method, I spent a lot of time testing condoms, from the amazing to the meh to the sandwich bag. So, for all of you getting fucked by SCOTUS…

1. Lucky Bloke: Lucky Bloke is one of my all time favorite condom retailers. They have mixed packs, so you can find out exactly what you like. Additionally, they carry packs of small, large, or just normal sized condoms, so if your member swings a bit to one side of average, they’ve literally got you covered. Their page of Ultimate Samplers is my favorite. Best of all, if you spend $24, they’ll ship anywhere in the world for free.

2. SheVibe: Did you really think I was going to make a post about where to get things and not include my boos at SheVibe? Like most everything in their massive selection, their condoms are quality. And they offer Glyde dental dams, which are notoriously hard to find (but essential if you’re into safe cunni- or anal-ingus). My favorites? I will always choose Lifestyles SKYN over any other brand. Plus, their lube selection is phenomenal and includes plenty of glycerin- and paraben-free options, and even some that are certified vegan or organic.

3. When you click on Lovehoney’s condom page, you will see 70 results. Seventy. That means that the odds of finding something that work perfectly for you and your partner are high. Lovehoney even carries some of the awesome but lesser-known brands like MySize, which are sized more specifically to give you just the right fit, and Skins, which are popular overseas but haven’t quite hit mainstream status in America yet.

4. Wallgreens: If you really want to do this in stealth mode while still having all the convenience of online delivery, Wallgreens actually offers a really impressive selection of condoms and lubricant. You can get my favorite Lifestyles SKYN along with most of the other big names, as well as a range of female contraceptives like FC2 and the sponge. Bonus: YOU CAN ORDER SLIQUID, which is only my favorite lube in the known universe!

5. As the name implies, sells, well, a whole lotta condoms. They have probably the widest variety of condoms I have ever seen in one place. It can be a bit overwhelming, but if you have you eye on a particular brand and you don’t know where to find it, it’s worth a look. Crown? They got ‘em. Kimono? Got ‘em. Apparently, there’s even a brand called Contempo, which I thought made casual clothes in the 90s (but what do I know?).

Until we start to get our rights back, best of luck to you and your continued sex life. I sincerely hope this SCOTUS fuckery doesn’t fuck with your fucking.

If You’re Tested and You Know It, Clap Your Hands

Hi pretties.

Two sex-related posts in a row?  Have I gone mad?  Probably.  But I’m still gonna do it.  Mwahaha.

Did you know, before I have sex with any new partner, I ask them if they’ve recently been tested?  You probably didn’t know that, unless we’re friends or we’ve had sex, but yeah, it’s true!

I’ve actually been tested after every partner and before every new partner.  Because my school provides free (!!) testing, it’s super easy for me to get discreet test results.  My parents don’t see them, and they call me personally on my cell and don’t leave voicemails about my vagina being all nice ‘n healthy.  If you have such services at your college or university, what are you waiting for?  You get swabbed or pee in a cup or have an eensy bit of blood drawn and shebang – back to banging!

If you don’t have access to a uni health center, you can definitely check out Planned Parenthood.  If you have health insurance, see what’s covered under your plan.  There may also be a free clinic in your area that will test for free or cheap.  There are dozens of ways and places to get tested, and it can all be done very privately.

Why am I such a stickler?  I love all ‘em reproductive organs all up in my body!  I love my brain, too!  But syphilis!  Gonorrhea!  Crabs!  HPV!  I don’t love those!  

“But Sarah, it’s so awkward to be like, ‘Hey, I really want you in me but first, can we please talk about the health of your penis?'”  Why, yes, dear reader, it can be.  (An interjection: yes, condoms do protect against STDs.  But because it’s not a 100% guarantee (some skin is still exposed, after all), I still bring it up.  Every time.)  I like to start by saying, “I’m kind of a stickler about my health, so I promise you, this isn’t personal.  I would really like for us both to get tested, unless you’ve recently been tested and you know you’re clean.”  My honest opinion?  Anyone who can’t react positively to something like that is not someone I want to be sleeping with!  I’ve honestly had that sentiment work with several past partners, and they were all very kind about it.

To be completely honest, I have an IUD, so if I’m in a committed monogamous relationship, I don’t insist on condoms.  When I was on the pill, I still did, but of course that’s up to you and your partner(s) and your gyno.  I’m definitely not here to give out medical advice!  But, when sleeping with a new partner, it’s definitely no glove, no love over here.

I’m not going to try to scare you with statistics.  I have a love/hate relationship with statistics anyway.  But, if you respect your body, yourself, and your partner, you should get tested.  It’s not shameful – it’s healthy.  It doesn’t mean you’re a tramp (and remember, we don’t slutshame here) – it means you’re informed.

Good luck.  Go get ‘em, tiger.

Safe & sexy,