For two or three months, I sort of tried to be a “normal” blogger. Blogging about my life, my wedding, my move, my travels. It was sort of fun, but it wasn’t really… me.
When I think about the things that bring people to me, it’s overwhelmingly sex. From sex toys to sex positions to sexually transmitted diseases, if you made a word cloud of my day to day vernacular, sex-related terms would be both huge and plentiful. I just love talking about sex. Furthermore, the majority of search terms that lead people to this blog are sex or relationship related. So that’s what I’m going to get back to writing about, to bring you a marvelous sex life.
Even more good news: I have a box of goodies on its way, as well as 2 other toys that need to be reviewed. Since I’m now 1 week off The Pill, I can just feel those drives kicking in. So, do you have any topics you’d like me to cover?
It’s good to be back.
If you’re interested in keeping up with my travels, my (non sex toy related) photos, my dog, and anything else generally safe for work, please check out my Tumblr. It’s 100% safe for work and linked to my Instagram, so you know it’s gonna be full of Daphne goodness.
If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I spent Thursday through Sunday in Arlington, VA, and Washington, DC, for CatalystCon. So, what is CatalystCon?Also, I’m having some issues with my posting – I can’t seem to get the visual editor to work – so links right now are MIA. Help, anyone?
CatalystCon is an awesome conference held on the East and West coasts for sex educators of all kinds. I saw everyone from Tristan Taormino to college freshmen, and everyone was there to talk about sexual health, education, and pleasure. If you’re interested, you should see if you can make it to CCon West, or consider volunteering for CCon East next year. (As a volunteer, my conference pass was free.)
Before the conference officially began on Friday night, I went to Tristan’s Sex Educator Boot Camp, and it was amazing. I didn’t know that one person could talk for 4 hours and keep my notoriously short attention span working.
After Boot Camp, I finally met my friends from SheVibe, and Sandra kept bringing vodka cranberries back for me so the night began to get a little fuzzy… Side note: As an introvert, I really needed time away from the conference to recharge, so I spent Friday night in my hotel room, ordering gyros and watching Drag Race with Steve.
Saturday was a blur. Besides sessions, I got lunch with Epiphora and some new friends, finally saw Lilly for more than five seconds, and stuck my hand in Ducky DooLittle’s glory hole during Dirty Bingo. (I got bingo! But I was the second to shout it. So sad.)
Now, I’m not good at goodbyes, so when Sunday rolled around I went to the sessions I volunteered for and then booked it out of the hotel. By the end of any high-impact weekend, I’m in major need of time to myself. But I did get to attend a talk on what became a pretty heated topic: Fifty Shades of Grey. I could write an entire post on my thoughts from that panel, and eventually I will, but today is not that day.
Thank you to Dee Dennis, the Evil Slut Clique, and others in the Girl Gang for making CCon a reality, and thank you so much, SheVibe, for sending me to Boot Camp!
It’s probably because the world is ending with Frankenstorm. I’m actually having a Lazy Sunday. I was given a random Sunday off, and I desperately needed it. This week kicked my ass, and ended with Steve and me (dressed as Prince and a Playboy Bunny) singing karaoke at a local bar (“Darling Nikki” and “Oops… I Did It Again”, if you were wondering).
& Braiding! For SHORT HAIR! I can have some fun too, bitch!
& If you’ve been thinking about blogging, if you’re new to blogging, or if you feel like there’s still something you can learn (hint: there is, this is you), you should check out Ali Lehman’s Blog Tips post category.
& Shannyn wrote about How To Score Free Stuff With Your Blog. I can get behind that.
& Haha. They’re worried this could come to Boston. Would you be comfortable with a Trojan crew giving away vibrators on street corners in your city?
& Sarah Von says, “Be Happy In This Moment.”
How is your weekend turning out? Did you go out for Halloween at all?
Hi all! I got a lot of responses to Ask Sarah asking about porn, and I’m excited about it.
First of all, I do feel like pornography can be degrading, to both women and men. There’s no shortage of misogynist porn, and even downright violent porn, out there. But these directors and companies should not ruin porn for you as a whole, because there are a lot of performers and other directors out there looking to improve the feminist porn experience. What I look for in solid feminist porn is women (and men!) genuinely having a good time; performers who have good chemistry and appear to be comfortable on set and with each other are key.
I’ve heard the statement, “I don’t want him/her using porn instead of being sexual with me,” a lot. And that’s a completely valid concern. Trusting your partner is key. I have no idea how much porn my boyfriend watches, but we have a healthy sex life, so it’s not a concern of mine. It’s very rare for two people to have sex drives that completely match up – if one person wants more sex than the other, then porn is a very viable option to keep the relationship happy and healthy. The best advice anyone can give a couple is to have open communication. I have no experience with porn addiction, so I don’t feel comfortable addressing that topic yet.
I love watching porn as a couple. It’s definitely a bonding experience, and it’s very interesting to take turns choosing the flick. You get to see a little of what your partner likes, and maybe get some ideas. It just adds something different to what can become a routine. If you’re interested in exploring porn as a couple, I suggest grabbing some lube, a vibrator, and maybe a stroker if you have a male partner. Masturbating together, teasing each other, or getting each other off during porn is a lot of fun, and it ensures that no one feels left out. Remember, your sex life isn’t entirely made up of intercourse.
If you have a hard time getting off, or even getting aroused by, traditional porn, you might be more interested in another niche or genre. I have very little interest in hardcore porn, but I love the softer stuff available through Abby Winters. Conversely, someone else might prefer the harder, but equally female-friendly, Meet the Mayhems (a real couple, in mad love and lust, making porn together). If you’re looking for queer porn, or porn that includes performers of all gender identities and sexual orientations, you should check out the Crashpad Series or one of Courtney Trouble‘s sites.
If you do like more mainstream porn, but are looking for a better male performance, check out James Deen. He’s been the darling of the internet somewhat recently, and really takes care to make sure that his female costars have a good time on set. Also, he’s actually sexy. A sexy man, in mainstream porn. I know, you need a moment to retrieve your jaw from the floor.
Your enjoyment of porn has a lot to do with just finding the right kind of porn for you. If you or your partner is interested in experimenting, take a look around. Just because you don’t like Bree Olson doesn’t mean you can’t find a star or a studio that you love.
Good luck! Go explore the pornucopia.