Posts Tagged ‘sex toys’

The More You Know… On Inclusivity and Sex Blogging

When I first started blogging, I had a lot to learn. Just in general. I was in my third year of university, and like most people in their third year of university, I thought I knew a lot of shit. I was totally wrong. Mostly, I was wrong about thinking I was a Libertarian, and in not understanding feminism or intersectionality.

When we talk about sex, it’s very often gendered, or at least sex-organs-based. As in, we talk about men as though they all have penises, women as though they all have vaginas, and the two of those as though they’re the only genders and are opposites. But there are people who identify all over the map, in terms of both gender and sexuality.

When we talk about dating, there’s often a lot of gendered advice. “Is it okay for a woman to ask a man out?” is a query that still gets a lot of hits, and a lot of the advice still addresses the question as though it were a reasonable fear. Why? Are we going to keep pandering to these ideas and these rules forever?

Clearly, things are changing. People are speaking up about why this makes them uncomfortable. Sometimes, these people are ridiculed, and even face violence. The language that we use on a daily basis can either reinforce the status quo, which some people find downright harmful to their personal wellbeing, or it can help things shift into a place where there’s greater safety for more people.

I’m sometimes very embarrassed by the things I used to say and the things I used to believe. I think that’s just a part of growing up and expanding your mind. I’m definitely not doing this perfectly, and I have no illusions about that. I’m straight, white, middle class, educated, cis-gendered (as in, I identify as a female and I was born/socialized as a female). There are spaces where I feel unsafe, but only because I’m a woman. I can’t imagine being a woman or a non-binary person with less privilege in those spaces. The toughness that some people I know have developed as a result of having to navigate unsafe spaces astounds me.

So, I hope that I can do better. I hope that by working in an emerging adult field, I can help make things better in the adult industry for people who don’t have the privileges that I have. I want to see the end of the days of sexist marketing and heteronormative ideals. It’s my goal to be part of the group moving forward instead of clinging to what benefits only people who are exactly like me. I hope that if I say something that’s hurtful or problematic going forward, someone will call me on it. I know that if they do, there’s a chance they won’t be “nice” but I won’t really necessarily deserve their niceness, you know?

Have the Best Valentine’s Sex, Singles Included.

I’m not here to make any kind of trite remarks about Valentine’s Day, because frankly, it’s all been said already. Some people love it, some people hate it. One thing you might not realize about Valentine’s Day, though, is that it’s a fantastic opportunity to take advantage of sales on sex toys. I’ve gathered up some of my favorite products to suit a wide range of people so that no matter your Valentine’s plans, you can have the best sex possible. Valentines   1. Minna Limon: Though I’m only just starting the process of testing the Minna Limon, I know already that it’s going to be a go-to toy for me. At first, I was afraid the lemon shape would be difficult to hold and gimmicky. Oh, how wrong I was! This little guy delivers some seriously powerful vibrations, and you can make/record your own patterns. It’s as much fun to use alone as it is to use with a partner, especially if you get a kick out of making the Limon mimic popular tunes. Special challenge: Who can get off to the opening notes of “Under the Sea”? 2. Sportsheets Sports Cuffs: As someone with extremely tiny wrists, I really appreciate that these cuffs use super-strong velcro to secure. They can be made as big or small as your body warrants for either wrists or ankles, and are very, very strong. I love that you can take the set apart and affix them to things like tethers, or simply re-connect them after winding them through your headboard (this is where metal or slatted headboards have a distinct advantage). Furthermore, they’re insanely comfortable for restraint devices, and won’t leave any marks that might make you uncomfortable at the office the next day. 3. Sliquid Sassy: As far as I’m concerned, Sassy is the Queen of Lubricants, the Porterhouse of the lube world. (If you think filet mignon is the best steak, then you’re overpaying and under-enjoying. Porterhouse forever.) It’s 100% body-friendly, made without glycerin or parabens, and it’s thick without being gummy. You can use it for vaginal, anal, or even oral sex, because it has virtually no taste and the perfect slippery texture. Sliquid nailed it with Sassy, making it possible for you to nail it in any consensual situation. 4. Lifestyles SKYN condoms: I have never found a condom I like more that’s also as readily available as Lifestyles SKYN. They’re latex-free, which means they’re ideal for latex allergy sufferers (obviously) but also for oral sex, since they don’t suffer from that unpleasant latex smell and taste. They’re ultra, ultra thin, and generously lubed, which allows for a lot of texture to be felt through them. And, unlike lambskin condoms, they do protect against STIs and HIV. If I could get business cards printed on SKYN condoms, I would, and I would hand those suckers out in handfuls. 5. Lelo Luna Beads Mini: There’s been a bit of a controversy over whether the Minis are as good as the Originals. I’ve never experienced the originals, but I’m honestly quite happy with my set. The interior balls are weighted and move about as your body moves, which for me caused quite a bit of a reaction from my PC muscles. The awesome thing about weighted kegel balls like the Luna sets is that they’re not just for exercising: They’re also for pleasure. They act as a slow warm-up, getting your muscles excited and ready for action. I noticed a pretty serious increase in self-lubrication while wearing the Luna Beads. So, whether you’re gearing up for a night with James Deen or a partner in the flesh (if your partner in the flesh is James Deen, I’m a bit jealous), I think they’re a great choice for anyone who wants to combine exercise and arousal. 6. Tantus Meteorite: The Tantus Meteorite is another product for which I’m working on a review, but again, I’m already enamored. At first glance, I thought this plug was going to be way too big for me. I’m quite the anal novice, having been scared away for far too long. A few months ago, I decided it was high time to get serious about exploring anal pleasure; enter, Meteorite. Like all of Tantus’s amazing products, the Meteorite is made of 100% premium silicone, meaning it’s perfectly body-safe and even shareable, when you take proper cleaning precautions. It’s 1″ in diameter at its widest point, so it’s roughly the size of a thin finger. Though it looks long, if you’re an anal newbie like I am, I assure you that it is extremely comfortable. With a little Sliquid Sassy, the Meteorite was incredibly comfortable to use, and really opened my eyes as to how great anal stimulation can be. 7. Lelo Mia: While the Mia shown is the 1.5, the newest Mia (2.0) is even better. They took my beloved 1.5 and made it waterproof and even more powerful. To begin with, Mia is a little powerhouse. Because it’s constructed of hard ABS plastic, it conducts vibrations extremely well. Combine that with Lelo’s powerful motors, and you have a recipe for success. Mia can be very easily charged by plugging it into any USB outlet, making it extremely portable. Also, it’s quiet. I always take it with me when I travel. If you want a solid, well-made, strong clitoral vibrator that’s built for pinpoint stimulation, you can’t go wrong with Mia 1.5 or 2.0. 8. Vibratex Mystic Wand: It’s not the most famous wand, but I’m inclined to say it’s one of the best. The Mystic Wand is only 8″ long, is made of ABS plastic and silicone, and is powerful enough to actually function as a back and neck massager. In fact, because I’m more interested in pinpoint clitoral stimulation like the Mia provides, that’s how mine normally gets used. But, if you’re in the market for a wand that can stimulate broader areas, like the entire vulva, then you should seriously consider picking up a Mystic Wand. This is the only toy on my list that takes batteries, but I fully believe it’s worth the hassle of stocking 4 AAs. It more than makes up for your trouble by being one of the most powerful, rumbly wand vibrators on the market that doesn’t require a wall outlet. 9. Vixen Creations VixSkin Mustang: In my eyes, the Mustang is the perfect dildo. It’s 6.5″ long and 1.5″ in diameter, making it slightly larger than the supposed average penis, but definitely manageable. VixSkin is an amazing material, made of 100% silicone. It’s two densities, meaning that the core is firmer and the outer layer is softer. Even larger toys made of VixSkin, like the extremely girthy Randy, are made easier to use because of the two densities. It’s also extraordinarily realistic, with a perfect curve and head to gently stimulate the g-spot. If you like the look of the Mustang but think it might be a bit small, it’s cousin Maverick might just be the dildo for you. (PS: SheVibe still has Mustang in Tie Bright and Fluor-a-Pink which I highly recommend. Everyone needs a bit of whimsy.) Additionally, SheVibe has some great sales happening right now. The Lelo Mona 2, which I’ll be reviewing shortly, is on sale for 15% off. It’s been widely heralded as a holy grail, so I can’t wait to get my hands on it. All Tenga products are 15% off as well, which means you can finally get your hands on an amazing masturbator sleeve  like the Flip Hole. And, f you really want to invest in a beautiful piece for your pleasure kit, select Fucking Sculptures are on sale for 25% off, like the stunning Hooded Nun.

How Disillusionment Led to Toy Reviewing

Around this time of year, I start to get nostalgic. It’s not Christmas, New Years, or anyone’s birthday… No, around this time two years ago (2012), I bought my very first luxury vibrator, and a whole new world was opened up to me.

The way I feel about my first luxury toy is the way some people feel about their first love. Just thinking back on those first few orgasms puts a smile on my face and a spring in my proverbial step. But how did I get to that point? What pushed me make that purchase? A double-whammy UTI and bacterial infection, a breakup, and a lot of time spent scouring the internet.

In August 2011, I became a Pure Romance consultant after hosting a party. I loved it. Finally, an outlet for my perviness! And I actually did make money. I did about 1-2 parties per month, and averaged $600 in sales per party. Then, I got a horrible infection from a product I had never thought to question. At that time, my interest in sex toys and other adult products became deeper. I started digging, and I wasn’t happy with what I found.

For as much as those massive party companies (Pure Romance, Slumber Parties, Pleasure Parties, etc.) want you to think that they rigorously train their consultants, I’m here to tell you, the training material never covers the most important topic: real, scientifically-based material and ingredient safety. You might get lucky and hear “phthalate free,” but in an unregulated market, that means nothing. My personal pet peeve is one particular creamy emollient Pure Romance lubricant (Whipped) that’s made with ingredients which are completely unsuited to the vagina, including oils and glycerin – something consultants are never warned about. The emollient nature makes it easy for the product to be pushed into the urethra, and the ingredients simply do not belong up there. Unlike a simple water-based formulation like Sliquid Sassy, your body has a much harder time eliminating Whipped with an after-sex pee. That’s how I wound up on a bevy of drugs, peeing blood, and begging the good Lord to cease the pain. Oh, and did I mention that because consultants get a 30-50% cut, and the company itself still has to make money, everything is egregiously overpriced? I’m talking $30+ for a gross jelly cock ring with a watch battery bullet. (You can get a pure silicone ring with a bullet vibrator from my loves at SheVibe for $10.99.) Thank God for the Internet.

So, armed with new knowledge (extra special thanks to Epiphora and Lilly!), I rebelled. I quit, I continued my search for knowledge, and I purchased my first completely body-safe vibrator: the original JeJoue Mimi, which now also comes in an intriguing soft version.

At the time, I bought my MiMi from the godawful wasteland that is EdenFantasys, where I also took advantage of their review program. Besides their horrid disrespect for the English language, they also have terrible ethics. If you’d like to learn more about why you should avoid them at all costs and why I and many others left their program a long time ago, please check out Epiphora’s post on the matter.

In March 2012, I started blogging in earnest, and a while later began reaching out to companies for products to review. I’ve had the good fortune to work with some amazing, fantastic, big-hearted people at SheVibe, Vixen Creations, We-Vibe, Tantus, Bad Dragon, and Vibratex. I really hope to grow that list in 2014. I know there are people out there working to change this industry and turn it into what it should be: pleasure- and health-based, open to all. I’ve made a lot of blogging friends (shit, I ran out of words!). I’ve tried a lot of toys, both really good and really bad. I’ve even spent a weekend with some of the most inspiring folks alive.

If you’re interested in doing what I do, it’s entirely possible to start right now. Don’t let anything intimidate you. You don’t have to be a size queen, but it’s okay if you are. You don’t have to be kinky, but you will be welcomed with open arms if you want to write about BDSM. If you’re willing to learn, to be completely honest, and to treat masturbating like it’s your job, then you can do this, too. It’s not always an easy job, but it is rewarding.

Bad Dragon Moko Review: OH MAN, YOU GUYS.

A few months back, before Sprintec took hold of my sex drive and squashed it like a bug, Bad Dragon offered me a custom dildo of my choice. Custom, you say? Just how custom? Pretty fuckin’ custom.

First, you get to choose the base toy, and I went with something from their insertable selection, of which they have a staggering 31. They also offer penetrable toys (including cock sheaths), experimental toys which haven’t necessarily made it into the permanent arsenal, and accessories. Since I have a dildo, we’ll restrict this review to focus on their insertables only.

I chose the Moko, which is based on a Liger. If you’re not familiar with Bad Dragon, their toys are very unique in that they rely heavily on fantasy. I’m not so much into the sexuality of anthropomorphism or fantasy creatures, but I was getting bored with human-penis-shaped toys. Oddly, Moko is one of the most human-like, but really appealed to me because of the way the shaft curves. I do so love a good curve.



As you can see, the Moko has a lovely set of testes. I’m not usually a fan of balls on dildos, but these are pretty innocuous and make it easier to grip. Plus, they aren’t veiny.

Your second customization choice is the size. Bad Dragon offers the Moko (and indeed most of their insertables) in 4 sizes: Small, Medium, Large, and Extra Large. Mine is a small. Just let that sink in for a moment, if you’re not a size queen. That’s a Small. It’s 5″ of usable length (that’s length not including the balls), with a maximum diameter of 2″, while the head is 1.5″. It’s a very nice sized dildo, in my opinion. In case you’re curious, the Extra Large measures 10.25″ of usable length, with a maximum diameter of 4.25″ and a head diameter of 3.3″. I would be more likely to use the Extra Large as a weapon to defend myself against intruders than as a sex toy, but I’m guessing some people with orifices of immeasurable strength and fortitude could handle it.

Now we’ve come to my absolute favorite customization: Density of the silicone. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes, I want this option for all  of my toys! I am a soft insertables fiend. Bad Dragon Soft is very soft, however – almost packer consistency. I went with their Medium density silicone, which has some nice give to it, and I would liken it to the outside layer of Tantus O2 or if you merged the two silicones used on Vixen Vixskin toys. In other words, it’s fucking perfect, and perfect for fucking. You can also get a split, with a harder silicone at the base and softer at the shaft and head, which makes for great stability.

Finally, I chose my favorite color. Bad Dragon is awesome in that you can actually choose your color from a hexadecimal chart. Not just “blue” or “pink” or “purple”, oh no. You have some real choices to make here, and some toys even have special options for different colors on different parts of the toy, or a color fade. THE CHOICES.

Beyond these, you can also choose whether or not to include a cumtube, which is pretty cool. Your toy will then come with a big syringe that you can fill with the liquid of your choice, and shoot it into your orifice. I thought I would use this feature more, but as it turns out, I should have opted against it, because I worry about being able to clean it thoroughly. C’est la vie.

In use, I loved the Moko. It’s definitely among my favorite insertable toys. The head has a very subtle ridge which, combined with the softness of the silicone, felt like a gentle G-spot massage. My partner and I used it together and found that it was an awesome warm up toy. I like that the softness of my Moko makes it easy to squeeze my PC muscles around it, which feels pretty great. The shape isn’t anything earth shattering, but it’s a reliable build. If you’re looking for something fantastical, check out their selection, because it’s quite diverse. They also have pre-made toys available, if you want something in your hands a little more quickly and aren’t picky about the color.

Overall, I give Bad Dragon’s creations an A+, 5 stars. You can really get exactly what you want, and why shouldn’t you?

Let’s Talk About Sex, Again

For two or three months, I sort of tried to be a “normal” blogger. Blogging about my life, my wedding, my move, my travels. It was sort of fun, but it wasn’t really… me.

When I think about the things that bring people to me, it’s overwhelmingly sex. From sex toys to sex positions to sexually transmitted diseases, if you made a word cloud of my day to day vernacular, sex-related terms would be both huge and plentiful. I just love talking about sex. Furthermore, the majority of search terms that lead people to this blog are sex or relationship related. So that’s what I’m going to get back to writing about, to bring you a marvelous sex life.

Even more good news: I have a box of goodies on its way, as well as 2 other toys that need to be reviewed. Since I’m now 1 week off The Pill, I can just feel those drives kicking in. So, do you have any topics you’d like me to cover?


It’s good to be back.


If you’re interested in keeping up with my travels, my (non sex toy related) photos, my dog, and anything else generally safe for work, please check out my Tumblr. It’s 100% safe for work and linked to my Instagram, so you know it’s gonna be full of Daphne goodness.



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