Review: Lovehoney Sqweel Go… A Carnival Ride for Ants?

I was always fascinated by the original Sqweel. A wheel of rotating tongues! It looks so silly! I like oral sex! So, when I had the opportunity to review the brand new Sqweel Go, a miniature, USB-powered Sqweel made by Lovehoney, I jumped at it. I thought it might just be weird enough to work.

Lovehoney Sqweel Go

It’s not.

When I first turned on the Sqweel Go, which is very easy to operate since the button is big and squishy, I giggled like a lunatic. It was so cute! So silly! All those little silicone tongues! Naturally, I pressed my finger to the tongues to test how much pressure they could take before the wheel would stop spinning. On the first level, the tongues were able to be stopped very easily, but by the third, they were quite resistant. So far, so good.

The Sqweel Go has 3 straight rotation modes (slow, medium, fast) and 3 pattern modes. Its wheel of tongues and button are made of silicone while the body of the device is made of shiny ABS plastic. The wheel of tongues is permanently attached to the rotating motor, meaning you can’t remove it for easy cleaning. But, the entire device is waterproof and rechargeable.

Yes, but how does it feel!?

I grabbed my trusty Sliquid Sassy and got down to business. Only, once I got it in place and I turned it on, I felt nothing. I expected to feel a light lapping sensation, or at least some kind of odd smacking. What I felt was almost like a tickling sensation, and then nothing as my clit got used to the light swipes. I tried turning up the speed, but that obscured the sensation of the individual tongues even more. Naturally, I then tried the patterns, and found myself frustrated. So frustrated, in fact, that I tossed the Sqweel aside and grabbed something else entirely (probably either the Mona 2 or Doxy Wand). This same little performance repeated each time I attempted to jack off with the Sqweel Go.

With the Sqweel Go (and with the regular sized Sqweels, in fact) you have to use a lot of lube in order to not feel a drag across your skin. But if I’m going to be using a lot of my favorite lube – which isn’t even easily available in the country I live in – I want to be getting something out of it. Sure, I’ll squirt tons of lube on a Tantus dildo, the draggy silicone of the original WeVibe Touch, or even on the rare occasion that I whip out the Mystic Wand. But there’s a return on that lube investment. This is like “investing” with Irving Rosenfeld. I can legitimately get more sensation from lightly running a fingertip over the area, and my fingers don’t cost $59.

I will be really interested to see who likes the Sqweel Go, and who finds it underwhelming. I’m sure it must work well for someone. But for now, for me, it’s probably going into its proper box in my meticulously organized collection. It will not be placed with my Frequent Flyers.

Major thanks to Lovehoney, who sent me the Sqweel Go! I genuinely love some of their other house-made products, so you shouldn’t hesitate to check them out.


50/50 Split: Namaste Harmony by CalEx

Once again, many thanks to SheVibe for their patience and generosity! I was originally sent this vibe months ago, and I could not decide how I felt about it. It was such a head scratcher that I skipped over it and even reviewed a few other toys first.

So, what do I think about the California Exotics Namaste Harmony? I’m cautiously optimistic about the direction of their company. Known for being a “novelties” brand – think grape scented jelly double dongs – CalEx doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence in me. But it’s not exactly easy for most people to drop $100+ on a vibrator, either. Is the Harmony worth its mid-range $46 price tag? It depends.

I was initially drawn to the Harmony because it reminded me of the Leaf Life, a quiet, beautiful toy by Swan. Harmony has a similar shape, but with a wider tip at either end. The thing is, Harmony is considerably bigger. While Harmony is 5″ long and 2.25″ wide, Life is only 4.1″ long and 1.6″ wide. Harmony is not much of a pinpoint toy, because its tips are rounded, unlike Life’s pointed ends. These aren’t good or bad things: simply differences in design and execution.

Now, really, Harmony is buzzy. It’s on the stronger end of buzzy, and the materials (ABS plastic, PU, with a silicone button), conduct vibration well. Because it’s so buzzy, if you have a strong grip or you have a partner who tends to clutch toys for dear life, you might dampen the vibrations significantly. Its 3 straight vibration settings go from what I would call medium to high to intense. If you like to barely graze your skin with the sensation, this would probably be a fantastic option for you, since the vibrations conduct nicely at surface-level. Another unfortunate side effect of buzzy vibrations from a toy of this material: it’s loud. Room-mate disturbing loud, but not neighbors disturbing loud. Is it college dorm appropriate? No. Would it would for someone living in your average apartment complex or town house? Yes.

Where Harmony really has the chance to shine is in the fine detail of its curvature. For me personally, the curve was perfect for clitoral stimulation. It sort of created a surrounding effect, making the vibrations feel more intense. I was actually surprised by how great it felt.

Harmony is rechargeable, which is fantastically convenient. I very rarely consider trying battery-operated toys because I just never keep batteries around the house. (I’m terrible at being an adult.) It comes with a USB cable and a wall adapter (for US outlets). The thing I found very puzzling about Harmony’s packaging is that it comes with a magnetic cover for one side of the toy. In the picture on SheVibe’s website, the toy looks like a yin and yang symbol, or Free Willy. That white part actually detaches. Why? I’m not 100% sure. It might be for perceived cleanliness, might be to hide the USB portal, might be for style. Who knows? I almost lost it 3 separate times while working on this review.

In conclusion, answer the following questions if you’re considering purchasing a Harmony.

1. Do you love the shape of Leaf Life but can’t afford it, want a bigger toy, or are happy spending $50 but not $100? (Worth it.)

2. Is this your first clitoral vibe? Are you on a mid-range budget ($30 – $75), and does this shape appeal to you more than a lipstick style? (Worth it.)

3. Do you own a MiMi, a Mia, a Mystic Wand, or a Tango (Salsa has been discontinued)/Tango? Are you satisfied with it? (Nope. Go buy tequila.)

Thanks so much, SheVibe!


BS is Nice Dildo Review

I kind of forgot that I had this dildo because for some reason it ended up in the back of my toy chest, which is weird because it’s very colorful and not the type of thing you could easily miss. I was sent the small, classically shaped BS Dildo, in the same colors as this beautiful G-spot BS dildo. Unfortunately, SheVibe is not currently stocking the model they sent me.

The packaging for my BS Dildo is very minimal: Just a clear but sturdy plastic bag with information about the company, a tiny info packet, and a sample of Yes lubricant. Frankly, I like it. There’s no BS (had to). No, it’s not subtle, but shouldn’t you feel good about the fact that your money is going towards a high quality toy and not some overblown luxury packaging? The bag is resealable, so it would make a perfectly good storage bag if you need that sort of thing. I tend to accidentally leave my (clean) dildos out, just standing around like tiny toy soldiers guarding various rooms of my house.

Because I’m the one sex toy reviewer who doesn’t have a measuring tape, and I can’t find a size estimate for the BS Dildo, I’m going to work with the fact that my hand is exactly 6″ long (same size as USD!). The dildo, then, is about 6″ long, with about 5.5″ being insertable. The girth is very reasonable, at around 1.25″ max. Because its a realistic phallic shape, the widest point is either the base or the ridge of the head. It does have a flared base, making it perfect for an O-ring harness or anal play. It is slightly curved, so it’s easy to thrust if you’re using it solo. (More on that later.)

The dildo is made of pure silicone and does have some drag to it. I used a pea-sized amount of Good Clean Love lubricant and had no problems with the material after that. I did perform a flame test, and it passed with flying colors, as I expected. It’s a single density silicone that’s soft and squishy, which makes for a very comfortable insertion. If you grab the base and wave the dildo in the air, it wobbles quite a bit. However, if you hold it paralel to the ground, it doesn’t droop. It’s clear that this toy was made perfectly for partner play. I don’t believe that it would be suitable for packing, but I’ve also never tried.

My experience using the toy was pleasant, but not earth shattering. It’s a very nice penis shape, and is small enough for me to use comfortably without the necessity of a warm up dildo. I think I would love this toy if I were in a relationship where we frequently used a strap-on, because it does feel pretty realistic without being overwhelming. Honestly, I’m a bit too lazy to put in the effort of manually thrusting for a while if I’m not getting considerable G-spot stimulation, so I prefer this toy to clench around or to use in preparation for larger toys.

If I were grading the BS Dildo on craftsmanship alone, it would absolutely be an A+. It’s awesome to see some more quality manufacturers becoming available in the States, and I’m glad SheVibe is carrying their stuff. As far as a solo masturbation toy goes, I don’t know that this particular design really goes the distance for me.

Thanks, SheVibe!


Blog Love

Well, it’s not Sunday, but another one doesn’t roll around for a while, and you all deserve some lovely links.

& Did you know that there is literally no regulation within the sex toy industry? Like, none at all? If you’ve ever seen me mention flame testing materials, I do it because you simply cannot trust that every package that says “100% silicone” really does contain 100% pure silicone.  Fucked up, right?  Thankfully, the brilliant minds of Dangerous Lilly and The Pinkness bring you…!

& Epiphora and SheVibe have teamed up to give away a FunFactory Stronic Eins pulsator! What is it, you ask? Why don’t you read her review!

& I’m really late to this party, but Jes of the Militant Baker is AWESOME. I feel like at some point, I found her blog, forgot to Bloglovin’ it, and sadly it slipped through my sieve of a brain. NO MORE! I’m linking her amazing Body Image(s) project here so you can all check out the glory of her blog!

& Sarah of SillyGrrl is launching her Nerd School ebook on May 21st, and you should probably register to get an email notification. Why? Because she knows her shit, and unless you’re already a professional web designer, your blog will thank you. (I’m on the list, ’cause this girlfriend needs help.)

& The Onion is sometimes spot on, and sometimes… Plainly, they really fucked up with this one, and Britni brilliantly called them out. (Trigger warning: Abuse, assault, Christ Brown’s asshattery.)

Kristen is participating in a Blog Every Day in May challenge, and today, she answered the questions “What do you do?” and “What are you most afraid of?” How would you answer those questions?

& In case you missed it, I now work at my local Lush shop, so you know I’m basically spending every waking hour smothering my body with vegetarian goodness. Let me tell you though, if you were to walk into Lush and purchase just one product, I would suggest you pick up a Buffy. My backside has never been smoother, and my arms have never been so soft.

See you soon!

Oh, YES: Vibratex Tulip Mini

If you have a clitoris, you need this vibrator.

When I received the Vibratex Tulip Mini (henceforth, the Tulip), I was expecting to enjoy it.  What actually happened?  I was blown away.  I need to include a picture of the Tulip, because otherwise, it’s going to be very hard to explain what’s so special about this little wand-style clitoral vibrator.

The entire toy is only 6″ long, with those petals making up about 1.5″ of overall length.  The petals themselves are made of soft, velvety, flexible silicone, and they surround a bullet coated in pink silicone in the middle of the wand’s head.  The effect is pinpoint stimulation combined with fluttering petals, which in my opinion combines the two best methods of clitoral stim.

Using the Tulip is very easy.  The base (which brilliantly allows the wand to stand up by itself) easily twists off, and you then load 2 AAA batteries into the compartment.  The presence of a dedicated ON/OFF button is welcome – far too few toys have one.  The other button allows you to cycle through 6 functions, but honestly, I only ever had to use the first 2 speeds.

While in use, I actually had to back off my orgasm a few times because I wanted to continue using the toy.  This was on the first vibration mode, which is a low, steady rumble.  This toy is really shockingly powerful and effective.  Every time I used it, I needed about 10 minutes and settings 1-2.  That’s it, and it was guaranteed bliss.

If you’re looking for an amazing clitoral vibe, or if you want to try a new combination of sensations, I highly recommend the Vibratex Tulip Mini.  At $25.99 from, it’s a steal.  Thanks, SheVibe!

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