Posts Tagged ‘sex toy’

Things that Make Me Mad: Crave Wink

Alright, Crave. I was willing to give you a chance, even though the first iteration of your Duet looked like a clitoral torture device, and even though Epiphora slaughtered it. You changed the designs and came out with two new toys: The Wink and the Solo. So, I thought maybe you’d gotten it together.

NOPE. Nope nope nope. Let me tell you about some things.

First of all, I will admit that I think that the Crave Wink is adorable. It’s super cute. It looks like a Clinique Almost Lipstick. Also, it’s made out of silicone and metal, which gives it a nice weight and makes it feel expensive. (Heads up, it is expensive: $69.) I chose the coral shade, because it looks even more like lipstick that way and I’m predictable. The material choices and the aesthetic value are the only good things about this vibrator. Put your wallets away right now.

Let me tell you about something that is not a “feature”: Having to twist the battery compartment into place to turn the damn thing on and off. That is not a feature. That is a design flaw. That is lazy. For $69, I want a button. What else do I want? More than one speed. You’re playing this JimmyJane Little Chroma game, and I do not appreciate it. Edit: I forgot to mention this explicitly… it takes one AAA battery. Nothing has ever been powerful, powered by a single AAA battery.

I would absolutely be willing to look past the one speed issue if that one speed were pleasing. It isn’t. It’s like bees. The metal base conducts vibration to the point where my fingers began to go numb after a few minutes. The silicone tip buzzed, but didn’t rumble, and try as I might to come, it was not happening. It actually felt like something was tickling my clit instead of actually trying to pleasurably stimulate it. I tried so hard just to see if I could have an orgasm from this monstrosity. I’m not even a power queen, but I ended up angrily dropping it off the side of my bed and reaching for my trusty WeVibe Touch. (For whatever it isn’t, the Wink truly is durable.)

In the two years that I’ve been reviewing, there have been very few products that I’ve just out and out hated. This is one of them. Say what you will about the appearance of the WeVibe Touch, but at least it works. It does what it’s supposed to do, and it does it very, very well. The Wink is a pretty toy, but it’s as though the care that went into making it stopped there. I was so excited to try this toy, and it was a total letdown. Did anyone with fingers and a clitoris try this in its testing stages? If so, had any of them tried a good vibrator before? It makes me so sad to think that, if this was someone’s first toy, they might never venture beyond it.

In order to clean the Wink, you need to first remove the battery, then twist the two halves together. It is waterproof, which is nice, and the material choices make it easy to clean. Just grab some dish soap, toy cleaner, or 10% bleach solution, and go to town. But, if you want an external vibe that’s waterproof and legitimately a luxury product, consider the WeVibe Touch or the Lelo Mia 2 instead.

In the end, I want to bandy someone about the head with the Crave Wink and tell them to step up their game.

Thank you, SheVibe!

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50/50 Split: Namaste Harmony by CalEx

Once again, many thanks to SheVibe for their patience and generosity! I was originally sent this vibe months ago, and I could not decide how I felt about it. It was such a head scratcher that I skipped over it and even reviewed a few other toys first.

So, what do I think about the California Exotics Namaste Harmony? I’m cautiously optimistic about the direction of their company. Known for being a “novelties” brand – think grape scented jelly double dongs – CalEx doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence in me. But it’s not exactly easy for most people to drop $100+ on a vibrator, either. Is the Harmony worth its mid-range $46 price tag? It depends.

I was initially drawn to the Harmony because it reminded me of the Leaf Life, a quiet, beautiful toy by Swan. Harmony has a similar shape, but with a wider tip at either end. The thing is, Harmony is considerably bigger. While Harmony is 5″ long and 2.25″ wide, Life is only 4.1″ long and 1.6″ wide. Harmony is not much of a pinpoint toy, because its tips are rounded, unlike Life’s pointed ends. These aren’t good or bad things: simply differences in design and execution.

Now, really, Harmony is buzzy. It’s on the stronger end of buzzy, and the materials (ABS plastic, PU, with a silicone button), conduct vibration well. Because it’s so buzzy, if you have a strong grip or you have a partner who tends to clutch toys for dear life, you might dampen the vibrations significantly. Its 3 straight vibration settings go from what I would call medium to high to intense. If you like to barely graze your skin with the sensation, this would probably be a fantastic option for you, since the vibrations conduct nicely at surface-level. Another unfortunate side effect of buzzy vibrations from a toy of this material: it’s loud. Room-mate disturbing loud, but not neighbors disturbing loud. Is it college dorm appropriate? No. Would it would for someone living in your average apartment complex or town house? Yes.

Where Harmony really has the chance to shine is in the fine detail of its curvature. For me personally, the curve was perfect for clitoral stimulation. It sort of created a surrounding effect, making the vibrations feel more intense. I was actually surprised by how great it felt.

Harmony is rechargeable, which is fantastically convenient. I very rarely consider trying battery-operated toys because I just never keep batteries around the house. (I’m terrible at being an adult.) It comes with a USB cable and a wall adapter (for US outlets). The thing I found very puzzling about Harmony’s packaging is that it comes with a magnetic cover for one side of the toy. In the picture on SheVibe’s website, the toy looks like a yin and yang symbol, or Free Willy. That white part actually detaches. Why? I’m not 100% sure. It might be for perceived cleanliness, might be to hide the USB portal, might be for style. Who knows? I almost lost it 3 separate times while working on this review.

In conclusion, answer the following questions if you’re considering purchasing a Harmony.

1. Do you love the shape of Leaf Life but can’t afford it, want a bigger toy, or are happy spending $50 but not $100? (Worth it.)

2. Is this your first clitoral vibe? Are you on a mid-range budget ($30 – $75), and does this shape appeal to you more than a lipstick style? (Worth it.)

3. Do you own a MiMi, a Mia, a Mystic Wand, or a Salsa/Tango? Are you satisfied with it? (Nope. Go buy tequila.)

Thanks so much, SheVibe!

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BS is Nice Dildo Review

I kind of forgot that I had this dildo because for some reason it ended up in the back of my toy chest, which is weird because it’s very colorful and not the type of thing you could easily miss. I was sent the small, classically shaped BS Dildo, in the same colors as this beautiful G-spot BS dildo. Unfortunately, SheVibe is not currently stocking the model they sent me.

The packaging for my BS Dildo is very minimal: Just a clear but sturdy plastic bag with information about the company, a tiny info packet, and a sample of Yes lubricant. Frankly, I like it. There’s no BS (had to). No, it’s not subtle, but shouldn’t you feel good about the fact that your money is going towards a high quality toy and not some overblown luxury packaging? The bag is resealable, so it would make a perfectly good storage bag if you need that sort of thing. I tend to accidentally leave my (clean) dildos out, just standing around like tiny toy soldiers guarding various rooms of my house.

Because I’m the one sex toy reviewer who doesn’t have a measuring tape, and I can’t find a size estimate for the BS Dildo, I’m going to work with the fact that my hand is exactly 6″ long (same size as USD!). The dildo, then, is about 6″ long, with about 5.5″ being insertable. The girth is very reasonable, at around 1.25″ max. Because its a realistic phallic shape, the widest point is either the base or the ridge of the head. It does have a flared base, making it perfect for an O-ring harness or anal play. It is slightly curved, so it’s easy to thrust if you’re using it solo. (More on that later.)

The dildo is made of pure silicone and does have some drag to it. I used a pea-sized amount of Good Clean Love lubricant and had no problems with the material after that. I did perform a flame test, and it passed with flying colors, as I expected. It’s a single density silicone that’s soft and squishy, which makes for a very comfortable insertion. If you grab the base and wave the dildo in the air, it wobbles quite a bit. However, if you hold it paralel to the ground, it doesn’t droop. It’s clear that this toy was made perfectly for partner play. I don’t believe that it would be suitable for packing, but I’ve also never tried.

My experience using the toy was pleasant, but not earth shattering. It’s a very nice penis shape, and is small enough for me to use comfortably without the necessity of a warm up dildo. I think I would love this toy if I were in a relationship where we frequently used a strap-on, because it does feel pretty realistic without being overwhelming. Honestly, I’m a bit too lazy to put in the effort of manually thrusting for a while if I’m not getting considerable G-spot stimulation, so I prefer this toy to clench around or to use in preparation for larger toys.

If I were grading the BS Dildo on craftsmanship alone, it would absolutely be an A+. It’s awesome to see some more quality manufacturers becoming available in the States, and I’m glad SheVibe is carrying their stuff. As far as a solo masturbation toy goes, I don’t know that this particular design really goes the distance for me.

Thanks, SheVibe!

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Blog Love

Well, it’s not Sunday, but another one doesn’t roll around for a while, and you all deserve some lovely links.

& Did you know that there is literally no regulation within the sex toy industry? Like, none at all? If you’ve ever seen me mention flame testing materials, I do it because you simply cannot trust that every package that says “100% silicone” really does contain 100% pure silicone.  Fucked up, right?  Thankfully, the brilliant minds of Dangerous Lilly and The Pinkness bring you… Dildology.org!

& Epiphora and SheVibe have teamed up to give away a FunFactory Stronic Eins pulsator! What is it, you ask? Why don’t you read her review!

& I’m really late to this party, but Jes of the Militant Baker is AWESOME. I feel like at some point, I found her blog, forgot to Bloglovin’ it, and sadly it slipped through my sieve of a brain. NO MORE! I’m linking her amazing Body Image(s) project here so you can all check out the glory of her blog!

& Sarah of SillyGrrl is launching her Nerd School ebook on May 21st, and you should probably register to get an email notification. Why? Because she knows her shit, and unless you’re already a professional web designer, your blog will thank you. (I’m on the list, ’cause this girlfriend needs help.)

& The Onion is sometimes spot on, and sometimes… Plainly, they really fucked up with this one, and Britni brilliantly called them out. (Trigger warning: Abuse, assault, Christ Brown’s asshattery.)

Kristen is participating in a Blog Every Day in May challenge, and today, she answered the questions “What do you do?” and “What are you most afraid of?” How would you answer those questions?

& In case you missed it, I now work at my local Lush shop, so you know I’m basically spending every waking hour smothering my body with vegetarian goodness. Let me tell you though, if you were to walk into Lush and purchase just one product, I would suggest you pick up a Buffy. My backside has never been smoother, and my arms have never been so soft.

See you soon!

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