I never really did like Blink-182. (Sorry, Alicia.)
Yesterday, I went shopping for some birthday presents. For myself, as one does. And literally everything I picked out was black, yellow, or a combination of the two. For those not in the know, I’m from Pittsburgh, much like Wiz Khalifa, and you know what it is. I definitely find myself missing my city and everyone in it a little bit more today.
That said, I can’t believe how lucky I am to be here. I haven’t felt as healthy as I feel now in a very, very long time. Recently, I got the chance to start writing professionally (more on that soon), and besides working on my own writing projects, I’ve been filling my time with making friends, reading, cooking more adventurously, and actually cleaning my apartment. And you know, I really like it. Sometimes, it’s a little bit lonely, but I’ve had time to run errands, learn some new things, practice my Deutsch, up my cooking game, and generally focus on feeling well. I’ve lost about a dress size, possibly around 8lb, just from walking so much, carrying groceries to and fro, and cleaning up my eating. And you know I’ve been having wine and beer like everyday, so it’s not some deprivation bullshit. I just genuinely feel so good here!
On Friday morning, all three of us are heading to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate my birthday. We booked an AirBnB apartment so Daphne could come with us and experience her third European city. Because my husband has been there before, I tried to plan a trip that would allow us to see as many new things as possible. Of course, we’re seeing the Anne Frank Haus, the red light district, and the Van Gogh museum, but we also want to see the Electric Ladyland – the Museum of Fluorescence, visit the Reypenaer for cheese tasting, drink at the Brouwerij ‘t IJ – an award-winning brewery, and try some Indonesian food (apparently a local favorite). It’s going to be a really exciting three days!
I guess this blog is sort of changing shape, and becoming more personal. Don’t worry – if you come here for toy reviews, I have a few that need to be written, and a couple more products on the way. I’m not going to stop talking about sex, toys, vaginas, and vulvas. But I am going to keep expanding my blog, taking on new topics as they come into my life.
Speaking of which, I’m looking to start a new fitness program, and I wanted to find something that I could do indoors, with minimal equipment. So, I decided to download the Blogilates App, and get the Beginners Workout Calendar. If you also use the Blogilates app, or just like Cassey’s videos, comment and let me know! I’m planning to get started on Monday, and hopefully order/purchase a suitable mat over the weekend. If you’re interested in my fitness progress, maybe I’ll start doing some fitness posts to keep myself accountable.
Only twenty six more hours until our plane is scheduled to take off! We’ll (hopefully) be in the air for 8 hours, and land in Frankfurt at around noon, their time. My husband’s parents graciously cashed in their hotel travel points for an overnight room for us, so we won’t have to go straight from an 8 hour plane ride to a 7 hour train ride.
So far, I don’t think it’s completely sunk in. Pittsburgh was the only home I’d really ever had – I grew up in the south hills and then went to Pitt. I’ve never even visited Germany, so I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I’ve been joking about how I’ve been to Hofbrauhaus and Disney’s Epcot before, but seriously? That’s my only “exposure” to Germany.
Our game plan is to give the wup some children’s Benadryl before the flight and a calming treat about midway through. She’s getting used to her carrier, but she’s such an active little dog that I still worry about her getting too restless in there. Hopefully it’ll go off without a hitch. As for me, I’m hoping some melatonin will sufficiently knock me out, because United doesn’t serve free alcohol. Bastards.
It feels like this entire wedding/moving process is taking forever, but it’s really coming up fast. The wedding is 16 days away, and we still need: a bow tie for him, shoes for me, and wedding bands for both of us. We’re thinking of going the Etsy route for bands, and I guess we need to make up our minds, like, yesterday.
In the mean time, we’ve been trying to enjoy everything we possibly can in our corner of Pittsburgh. My bridal shower was last weekend, where we enjoyed dinner at Piccolo Forno and cupcakes from Vanilla.
We have plans to visit our favorite bar – and the location of our first date – a few more times before we hop on the plane, too. (If you’re curious, it’s called the Squirrel Hill Cafe, but patrons usually call it The Cage. Google ‘at ‘n yinz is in for a good mill and maybe an Ir’n City.)
I’m personally going to be extra nostalgic for another Squirrel Hill staple: the 61C Cafe. I was a barista there for a year and a half, and it’s definitely the job (and staff) I miss the most. Unfortunately, the website hasn’t been updated since I was a sophomore in high school, so don’t go looking there for any relevant information. Facebook them instead, and if you go, get some hot chocolate. With whipped cream, obviously, because this isn’t fucking South Beach.
Oh yeah, and I guess another important thing about the wedding: We haven’t figured out the ceremony yet. Or our vows. And I’ve heard that winging it isn’t a very popular or successful strategy for a ceremony that will, in large part, define the beginning of our (legal) lives together. And since we’re self-officiating, we can’t fall back on whatever the judge/minister/rabbi usually does.
Any last-minute wedding ideas? Things you wish you’d thought of? Thoughts on how to pull of a short, sweet, personal ceremony?
It’s been a little over a week since my last update, mostly because we’re seriously coming up on wedding crunch time. Last Friday was our Bro-chill-orette party, so named because it was for both bachelor and bachelorette, with all kinds of guests.
We aimed to go to Industry Public House for dinner (try one of their smokestacks ~ whiskey + smoke + bacon simple syrup), then Arsenal Lanes for bowling and karaoke. Awesomely, an even bigger party than expected showed up! And we drank and ate and blew penis-shaped whistles until 11:30, at which time we couldn’t get in to bowl or sing our hearts out to 90s songs. And unfortunately, the only picture I have of anyone blowing a penis whistle actually looks like someone toking a bowl, so I won’t be sharing that on the www.
This was probably early in the evening. And yes, that tiara does have penises on it.
But all was not lost! We continued the party back home, where both Daphne and her cousin Charlie joined us.
At some point, I apparently had such a great time that I don’t remember handing out 1/3 of my wedding invitations. When our guests left, I insisted we put on Adventure time, and then sang along the theme song. So, I guess I did karaoke. …And made sound effects for the 10 minutes of the episode that I got through before throwing up on a pillow.
Interested in more wedding stuff? Oh good! Because you’re not getting any respite ’til I do, and that’s not til August 11th.
Because PA is one of the few states that allows self-officiating marriage (thanks, Quakers!), we’ve opted for a self-officiating license. That’s cool because it means we get to officiate our own wedding, but it’s also not cool because um, we have to officiate our own wedding. Stress eating is a thing. I want some damn toast.
Today, I’m taking my first plane ride in 10 years and heading to Saint Louis to visit Steve’s family! I couldn’t be more excited to see them again. We’re planning to celebrate our engagement, visit the City Museum, and go cliff diving. Crazy shit considering we’ll only be there until Sunday!
Things I hope the TSA doesn’t confiscate: Lelo Luna Beads (mini), MiMi v1, or my Lush essentials. Note: By “essentials”, I mean a 12 step routine that would put even the likes of Donatella Versace to shame.
And now for Wedding Wednesday: Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties!
What to do, what to do. I’ve never really had just one group of friends, and because of that, I love to associate with so many different kinds of people. Even online, I have my sex blogger friends, my lifestyle blogger friends, and even my animals-on-Instagram friends. It’s even more diverse in person! Because of this, I’ve gotten all kinds of bachelorette party suggestions, from a BYOB painting class (fun, but not my idea of a bachelorette party), to a wild night with a limo and South Side bars (um hi anxiety attack).
Listen. I want there to be strippers. I love strippers.
You might not know this about me, but I have a damn good time at a strip club. I love to watch men get hustled, and a dancer with pole skills is simply a lovely sight to behold. Furthermore, male strippers are hilarious. Sometimes they’re kinda sexy, but mostly? Just a riot. I’ve seen a few nice looking penises in my day (and more than a few nice butts), but booty poppin’ just isn’t the same when it’s done by a man. It’s all about the physical form, and the discomfort or total rapture of those around you. Steve’s first time at a strip club was with me, and if I had had a little more cash to throw around, I would have bought him a lap dance. That’s just the kind of giving soul I am.
I’d really like to combine mine and Steve’s bachelorette/bachelor parties, and happily, there’s a club in our city that has male and female dancers on Saturday nights. I don’t want to combine because I’m afraid of what might happen without me there – quite to the contrary! I’m afraid that without me there to egg them on, Steve may never get that pre-marriage lap dance that he deserves. What kind of wife would I be if I let that happen?
Anyway. There’s a time and a place for wine and class, and that’s at the bridal shower – I can certainly clean up when I want to.