Whew! It’s been a while, and I owe you a bit of an update. Okay, maybe a lot of updates.
As some of you may have noticed, I took a little bit of a step back from my blog in the past couple of months. It wasn’t intentional. Things just began to snowball, and blogging got away from me.
I hadn’t formally announced this on the blog yet, but I’d like you to know that I’m working for KIIROO, a sexual technology start-up. KIIROO makes luxury teledildonic/cyberdildonic sex toys, focused mostly on long distance couples. Officially, I’m a copywriter and content manager. Unofficially, I’m the toy geek and test vagina. I’ve been there since April, so you can see why I’ve been so busy!
It’s a pretty amazing gig, and it even takes me to Amsterdam a few times a month. That having been said, my affiliation with KIIROO has no effect on my toy reviewing. Just like when I was working at a brick and mortar sex toy store, my opinions here remain my own and are in no way influenced by my employers.
Another reason for my absence is one you’ve all heard before if you’ve been reading my blog for some time: Depression. I have a double whammy of clinical depression and hypothyroidism. This means that when one of both of those conditions isn’t treated – or is under-treated – I feel like hell.
Long story short, I went through a months-long process of figuring out how much to adjust both my SSRI and my synthetic thyroid hormone. Now, I think I’m at just about the right place. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, because you sort of get used to a certain energy level and daily ability. Depression can be very subtle and sneaky.
But, I have some good news!
My hours at work have changed, and I’ll once again have Fridays free. This means more blog posts, more toy testing, and more time to network. If you’re waiting on something from me, please be patient just a little while longer. Things are moving into high gear, I promise!
In October, I got the opportunity to attend EroFame, a big erotic trade show in Hannover, Germany. I had a chance to schmooze with some new friends, and got to check out a lot of toys in person. The highlights, for me, included walking away with a JimmyJane Form 2, learning all about L’Amourose and getting my very own Rosa, and seeing that the incomparable Coochy Cream may be coming to Germany (finally)!
Fun story: When I walked past the Classic Erotica stand and saw Coochy, I let out a combination gasp/scream. Immediately, I launched into why it’s the best shave cream (gentle, super soft, no shave rash, best fragrances). Unbeknownst to me, a man was there deliberating whether or not to start carrying Coochy in his shop. And that’s the story of how I got an armload of free Coochy.
Unfortunately, I am participating in No Shave November. My armpit kittens are coming back, and I’m growing out my leg warmers. Why? So I can take pictures in December and weed out the weak.
So, which toys are next? I currently have: a new G-spot dildo from BS is Nice, Curve from Lovecandy by Kendra, Tenga Iroha Mikazuki, JimmyJane Form 2, and L’amourose Rosa. Which one are you most looking forward to seeing? What do you have planned for November?
I don’t usually participate in memes, but since I’ve been suffering from some crazy bloggers-block lately, I figured this might be a nice jump-start to a kickass holiday season of reinvigorated blogging. Plus, after reading Kaelah’s and Jes’s random facts, I felt like I knew them just a bit better, and who doesn’t enjoy that?
1. I keep trying to be a vegetarian, and I keep failing. Miserably. My husband is a vegetarian, and he has never, ever pressured me into the lifestyle. (He converted for health reasons, and currently maintains it for health and environmental factors.) I absolutely love the idea of living with less negative environmental impact, less cruelty, and less of that post-meat sluggishness. But I cannot seem to kick chicken or fish. I just try to eat a lot less of it.
2. I have had elective cosmetic surgery. …because I was born with a malformed foot. My left foot is a children’s size 11, and my right is a women’s 6. It’s not genetic, and it’s not due to anything my mother did while she was pregnant. Our best guess is that the umbilical cord got wrapped around my foot, cutting off circulation and forcing my toes together. I can’t move any of the toes on that foot, and I actually had two removed for cosmetic reasons. I can do every physical thing normally – the doctors I’ve seen have actually been amazed once they’ve seen me in person after hearing about my foot on paper/over the phone. Most of the time, I kind of forget!
3. When I was 3, I refused to respond to anything other than “Gaston” for about 2 months. I have no idea why this was. I’ve never had any inkling of being born the wrong sex, or even being genderfluid. But for two months, I watched Beauty and the Beast every day, and demanded to be called Gaston.
4. I unironically love Britney Spears and Ke$ha. For one entire summer, because I’m supremely lazy, I kept a mix in my car that was entirely Britney, Ke$ha, and older Lady Gaga (The Fame and The Fame Monster only – I’m a purist). There is absolutely nothing that can make me feel better than singing “Stronger” or “Oops, I Did it Again”, and nothing makes me laugh as much as “Cannibal”. I got to see Ke$ha once during college and spent the next week finding flecks of glitter in random places, including my scalp after 2 shampoos. It was worth it.
5. My two favorite things are cooking and not wearing pants. Unfortunately, this combination seems to make dinner guests uneasy.
6. I’d like to be somewhat heavily tattooed. Right now, I have two tattoos: one on my right bicep and one on my right hip. One means a lot to me, the other was done on a whim. Someday, I want both of my upper thighs done, to fill in the rest of my right upper arm, and possibly my chest. I would love to have knuckle tattoos, but I have no idea where I’m going professionally and I don’t want it to limit me (don’t worry, mother-in-law!). I’ve also always wanted a Harry Potter themed “tramp stamp”. Related: I’m a Slytherin.
7. I may have recently developed an interest in having children in the future. It’s still a long ways away, unless we have an oops, but it’s becoming more appealing to me. I definitely don’t believe that whole, “Once you meet the right person…” bullshit, but I admit that seeing my husband interact with our dog has set my ovaries on fire a handful of times. We’re lightyears away from being ready – we don’t even have our own place right now! – but it might happen eventually. Until then, I’m going to keep doting on the dog and reading about other bloggers’ kids.
8. My biggest pet peeve is when people segue from talking about the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s to the song of the same name. “Har har, I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard the song! Does that count?” No, you smug asshat, it doesn’t count, and if I had a dollar for every time I heard that I could afford enough plastic surgery to look like Audrey Hepburn.
9. Lobster is my favorite food, and since I didn’t grow up in Maine, that basically makes me as WASPy as they come. For my 20th birthday, my boyfriend took me to dinner and I ordered what was essentially lobster stuffed with lobster. And I would do it again. Unfortunately, my husband is allergic to shellfish, and if I were to cook it in the house (which is super easy, by the way), the allergens would become airborne and he would need to be stabbed with an epi-pen.
10. I have a degree in Economics, but I don’t know that I’ll ever use the specialized knowledge part (the part where I got a BA has already been useful). I would love to go to law school, which is common for Econ grads, and actually did well on a practice LSAT that I took on a whim, but it’s not really feasible right now. Banking is one of the major areas in which Econ grads are employed, and I have absolutely no interest in joining them. For now, I write.
Please, share some random facts about yourself with me! If you do the meme too, link it in the comments!
Amsterdam was absolutely beautiful! Granted, it was cold, rainy, and grey, but it’s still a stunning city. The architecture, the history, the art museums… It was an amazing trip! For the most part, I think we even succeeded at being American tourists who weren’t annoying. We went to the Anne Frank House, which I don’t think I can adequately describe. The Van Gogh Museum was beautiful, and I had never realized how much I actually liked Van Gogh, or what kind of range he had as an artist. We took a short walk around the Red Light District, where I suspiciously eyed some Lelo ripoffs and made awkward eye contact with women in lingerie. An excellent time was had by all!
I finally, finally had a real burrito! My first in Europe! We visited a small taco shop owned by an American on Saturday night, and it was incredible. No lie, that was probably the best burrito I’ve ever had. It was made with chili marinated pulled pork, so I cheated my usual pescetarianism, but it was worth it. So, so very worth it.
Because we traveled by train and brought Daphne’s bed with us, she was quite a happy little traveler! Every seat was like first class. (I wish I could say the same for us…)
Because of some train delays and accidents, it actually took us over 12 hours to get home. For reference, we got there in about 6. You could drive in 5. We found ourselves in a train station McDonalds at three o’clock in the morning, bleary eyed, eating way more fries than anyone should ever consume during the wee hours. By the time we got home, it was 7am, and we actually passed people on their way to work. Worth it? Worth it.
Stop reading here if you are strictly interested in travel and other safe for work themes!
I never really did like Blink-182. (Sorry, Alicia.)
Yesterday, I went shopping for some birthday presents. For myself, as one does. And literally everything I picked out was black, yellow, or a combination of the two. For those not in the know, I’m from Pittsburgh, much like Wiz Khalifa, and you know what it is. I definitely find myself missing my city and everyone in it a little bit more today.
That said, I can’t believe how lucky I am to be here. I haven’t felt as healthy as I feel now in a very, very long time. Recently, I got the chance to start writing professionally (more on that soon), and besides working on my own writing projects, I’ve been filling my time with making friends, reading, cooking more adventurously, and actually cleaning my apartment. And you know, I really like it. Sometimes, it’s a little bit lonely, but I’ve had time to run errands, learn some new things, practice my Deutsch, up my cooking game, and generally focus on feeling well. I’ve lost about a dress size, possibly around 8lb, just from walking so much, carrying groceries to and fro, and cleaning up my eating. And you know I’ve been having wine and beer like everyday, so it’s not some deprivation bullshit. I just genuinely feel so good here!
On Friday morning, all three of us are heading to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate my birthday. We booked an AirBnB apartment so Daphne could come with us and experience her third European city. Because my husband has been there before, I tried to plan a trip that would allow us to see as many new things as possible. Of course, we’re seeing the Anne Frank Haus, the red light district, and the Van Gogh museum, but we also want to see the Electric Ladyland – the Museum of Fluorescence, visit the Reypenaer for cheese tasting, drink at the Brouwerij ‘t IJ – an award-winning brewery, and try some Indonesian food (apparently a local favorite). It’s going to be a really exciting three days!
I guess this blog is sort of changing shape, and becoming more personal. Don’t worry – if you come here for toy reviews, I have a few that need to be written, and a couple more products on the way. I’m not going to stop talking about sex, toys, vaginas, and vulvas. But I am going to keep expanding my blog, taking on new topics as they come into my life.
Speaking of which, I’m looking to start a new fitness program, and I wanted to find something that I could do indoors, with minimal equipment. So, I decided to download the Blogilates App, and get the Beginners Workout Calendar. If you also use the Blogilates app, or just like Cassey’s videos, comment and let me know! I’m planning to get started on Monday, and hopefully order/purchase a suitable mat over the weekend. If you’re interested in my fitness progress, maybe I’ll start doing some fitness posts to keep myself accountable.