…and you can’t necessarily decide when it’s over.
For anyone who follows me on Twitter, it’ll come as no surprise that this has not been my weekend. I had a really rough night last night. I don’t like to make things too personal here, at least not in a sadsacky kind of way, because that’s not what Marvelous Darling is about. But, I do like when bloggers keep things real, so I want to share.
I have this horrible habit of having very inconvenient epiphanies. Last night, I realized that I just plain wasn’t over someone. I’ve been a serial dater or serial monogamist since I was 15, very, very rarely taking a breather. Three times, I fallen really hard for a guy. I’ve never given myself time to recuperate afterwards. This time, it finally bit me in the rear.
There’s no timeline that can tell you when you need to “just get over it.” And the only way you can do it is by being honest with yourself. I was up until 4am thinking and, yes, crying. I’m convinced that on occasion, a good cry solves all.
I really need some time to myself. When I consider my priorities and my ideal life right at this moment, I see school, friends, and Marvelous Darling. I’m not in any kind of shape to be someone’s gal. For the first time, I’m actually ok admitting that. It feels a little like defeat, like I’ve allowed myself to be broken. It’s just that I allowed myself to care, and that’s hard. Things happen.
So, for at least a little while, there won’t be any funny date posts, exciting news about relationships or romance, or cute couple things on my blog. I’m a hot mess, and I need to work on that before I just run out of steam.
On the plus side, and totally unrelated, I’m seeing The Hunger Games tonight with some girlfriends, so I’m really excited to get into ass-kicking gear for that. Anyone else excited? Have you seen it already? Have you totally avoided the fad? Personally, I kind of want to punch anyone calling it “the next Twilight“.
Safe, sexy, and hungry for the games to begin,