The Bbold by Bswish couldn’t Bworse.
When I initially pulled the Bbold from its – admittedly pretty – packaging, I was excited. It helped a lot that Diddleworks, who sent me the Bbold in exchange for my honest review, included an extra soft storage sack and a lovely postcard. I’m a sucker for a little swag, it’s true. Beyond that, the Bbold had a nice curve and I thought it might be a little bit like the Je Joue Uma, which I’m still hoping to get my hands on.
At first, when I saw the depression on the bottom of the vibrating end, I thought it would be reminiscent of my beloved We-Vibe Touch. It looks like a nice little nook for your clitoris. What I wasn’t so excited about it was that hot pink seam. It’s very, very prominent in person, and in my opinion, really detracts from the luxury claims. If the Bbold were designed only for external use, it would be forgivable, but it’s also intended to function as a G-spot vibe. It’s possible that the texture could be pleasurable for some, but I’m not sure if that was Bswish’s aim or if it’s just a lazy design.
Worse yet, there is absolutely no design insight offered in the manual. The manual is the most generic one they could possibly have included, only including information on how to turn on/off, charge, and clean their toys in general. The bulk of the actual message of the manual appears to be legal ass-coverings. Thanks, BSwish!
So, I started it up. What I will say about this toy is that it came pre-charged. That’s convenient. It means that I don’t have to wait an additional 2-10 hours to love or hate it, y’know?
When I first turned it on, I was impressed and I felt a little relieved. It’s loud, and shakes quite a bit, so at first I thought it was strong. Unfortunately, it’s just buzzy. It’s very, very buzzy. In fact, when I wrap my hand around the unit, the vibration is almost completely dampened, making it all but useless internally, especially on the highest straight vibration setting. (There are 3 levels of straight vibration and 4 patterns. I can’t be arsed with patterns.) I thought that maybe I was exaggerating and didn’t want to needlessly knock a toy, so I grabbed the nearest pair of hands that doesn’t mind touching my goodies and asked him.
“Ok, hold this one in your right hand and this one in your left,” I instructed, holding out the Mona 2 and Bswish Bbold, both turned to their highest power setting. “Which one feels stronger? Can you still feel vibration in both?”
“Uhhhhh…” My husband is actually Tina Belcher. “Yeah, this one is a lot stronger. I can’t really feel the vibrations in the other one.” A relatively impartial layman agrees: The Bswish Bbold, well, Bweak.
All told, sometimes my clit is alright with buzzy vibrations. It’s not nearly as picky as my G-spot, but it’s getting a bit more crotchety (pun very much intended) the longer I review. Going into my first test, I really wasn’t sure what to expect. I tried using just the very tip on low power to mimic how I start off with the Mona 2, but that wasn’t enough. I tried the divot, on both low and medium power, and that wasn’t doing it either. I turned it all the way up, and realized that the high power combined with the buzzy vibration actually made for less powerful vibration strength than a lower setting. Also, you have to cycle through every vibration function if you find you don’t like the one you just turned on. That’s not a characteristic of “premium” vibrators, Bswish. Frustrated, I threw it aside and reached for something else.
For weeks, I tried using it during warm-ups. It was one of those vibrators that felt alright, but just not good enough. I always ended up reaching for my Mona 2 or my original We-Vibe Touch. Finally, my husband persuaded me to just try using the Bbold, without anything else, “for science. You owe it to your public!”
Again, I tried the tip on low power. With a little concentration, it felt alright. The tip on medium power was nice, and I felt like I was marginally close to an orgasm a couple of times. But that just went on and on. I tried once again to use it at full power, but it became significantly less pleasurable, at which point I loudly sighed and cycled back through to medium. Tediousness is the enemy of orgasmic energy.
I’m telling you, I could. Not. Come. Could not. There was no orgasming happening here, friends. And thus, the end of an era. I can no longer get off with poorly made vibrators.
I maintain that cheapness isn’t the deciding factor. I’m not going to automatically like something because it’s $130, or dislike something else because it’s $23. It has everything to do with build quality, which is not the same across brands even in the same price category.
Bswish’s brand is split into three categories: Classic, Deluxe, and Premium. The Bbold is part of the premium line and costs $73. Knowing this, I have to assume that Bswish prioritizes looking like a luxury brand over performing like a luxury brand.
Overall, I can’t recommend the Bbold. It’s buzzy, loud, and in my opinion, poorly designed. I do, however, recommend you check out Diddleworks. The site design is neat and minimalist, their customer service is great, and their selection is wonderfully body-safe. Plus, they have a kick-ass name.
In other news, please check this amazing giveaway organized by the Redhead Bedhead to benefit a dear friend of hers undergoing cancer treatment. What could possibly be better than kicking cancer’s ass and having the chance to score some great prizes?!
Before I received my very own Mona 2, some of my well-respected friends gave it absolutely rave reviews. It’s been touted as a holy grail vibrator by more than a few seasoned reviewers. But what would my finicky g-spot think about it? Would it actually be comfortable to use clitorally, or awkward and cumbersome?
I would be lying if I said that the beauty of the Mona 2 wasn’t a factor when I was deciding what to request for review. It’s truly a gorgeous toy. The g-spot curve is slight but somehow voluptuous. It’s kind of like a Victoria’s Secret Angel.
If you’ve ever felt a Lelo silicone toy, you know that their silicone is soft, smooth, and silky. Like most of their insertables, the Mona 2 is made of extremely hard plastic, nestled under the thin layer of silicone. The insertable length is just under 4.5″, and its diameter is 1.5″. There’s a small ridge where the silicone meets the plastic handle, but it remains easy to clean. (For what it’s worth, I usually don’t gunk up my toys that far down, but some people do. It varies, and you shouldn’t feel weird about it either way.)
Oh man, the handle. I love the handle because it’s very ergonomic. It has a decent weight to it and feels solid. My favorite part is the buttons. They’re soft and squishy but easy to press and clearly differentiated from the rest of the handle. The +, -, up, and down signifiers are easily distinguished by feel alone, even in the throes of awesome vibrator passion. You can press the + and – buttons at the same time to lock it for travel, too. AND they light up to signify charging and pulsation pattern. I would like to buy a round of shots for whoever made this control zone happen.
When it comes to vibration strength and modes, it’s easy. + and – take the strength higher and lower, while up and down will let you choose a pulsation mode. You can choose both the pattern and the intensity, which is like, basically the Chipotle of vibrator control options. You want chicken and mild salsa? Barbacoa and hot salsa? Really slow pulsations on the highest intensity setting? YOU GOT IT. (Maybe I’m just hungry.) Mona 2 is the first vibrator to convince me that pre-made pulsation patterns might actually suit me sometimes. The slow pulse on the highest setting is INSANELY good and makes an awesome clitoral warm-up.
In use, I found the Mona 2 to be one of the most comfortable toys I’ve ever tried, both internally and clitorally. Internally, the vibrations really hold up, due to Mona 2′s rumbly motor. In fact, with the curve being where it is and my g-spot being rather shallow, I actually found that even internally, I got some light clitoral stimulation from the neck of the vibe. Externally, well, holy shit. The tip of the Mona 2 is softly peaked, meaning that it can be used for fairly exact stimulation. Alternatively, you can apply the curve to your labia. Since I enjoy pinpoint stimulation, I found that the handle actually did a phenomenal job of offering me control while keeping my fingers far enough away from the main vibrations. You can feel some vibration through the handle, but not enough to cause “Tickly Hand Syndrome.”
The first time I used the Mona 2, I needed a snack afterwards, and then I tweeted up a storm. I could not talk enough about this thing. It’s the first toy that has left me absolutely positive that I experienced a g-spot orgasm. Other toys have left me wondering, thinking it might possibly have just been a really good clitoral orgasm. Not Mona 2. Oh, no. Then, a few weeks later, I decided to use the Mona 2 externally while I tested the Lovehoney Satisfy Me G-Spot Dildo. Again, my vagina all but stood up and applauded. No matter how I use this toy, I am guaranteed impressive results.
I will give this toy up when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. So, yes. It does live up to the hype.
Thank you SO MUCH, Burlesque Toys, for providing me with the Mona 2. You’ve changed my life. Seriously.
A few nights ago, I had – as the title suggests – what I could only describe as a religious dildo experience. It was like a cloud that had been in place a long time was suddenly lifted. I t was like everything was suddenly clear.
I should back up and start from the beginning.
Because I have a bit of a pile of toys to test right now, I grabbed three from my desk and got to work. Of course, one of them had a dead battery. So, I started with the Mona 2, clitorally. I was tempted to just use the Mona 2 for a guaranteed g-spot orgasm (more on that soon in my complete review!) but I knew I owed it to Lovehoney to actually use their beautiful Satisfy Me G-Spot Dildo, even though at this point I wasn’t sure if g-spot dildos would ever do anything for me.
At first glance, the Lovehoney Satisfy Me looked nice, at the very least well made, but I was prepared to be underwhelmed. I’ve spent the last two years thinking my g-spot is incredibly picky, and when I pulled the Satisfy Me out of its box, the bulbous g-spot end looked a little big for me. (For reference, it’s 7.5 inches long with a slight curve; the bulbed end is 1.5 inches in diameter at its widest point.) The middle portion is flexible, but the silicone is pretty firm and quite soft. For $25, and after using it, I think it’s a steal.
After reading many a g-spot guide, I have always tried to thrust with g-spot dildos. Always, always thrusted. And it felt good, but not OMGAMAZING. This time, I got lazy. And oh, how laziness pays off! I simply held the dildo in place with my pelvic floor muscles, turned up my Mona 2, and had an insanely awesome, super long orgasm. It was honestly hard to tell if it was more clitoral or g-spot, but what I do know is that it really engaged a lot of muscles, and the way they embraced the Satisfy Me was incredible.
Why did it never occur to me to use a dildo that way? I suppose because I was trying to mimic typical PIV sex, thinking that was the ticket. For me, it just doesn’t seem to be. While the awesome bulb on the end of the Satisfy Me wasn’t doing much for me while thrusting, it was just absolutely perfect for clenching around.
The lesson here? Go forth and experiment. You never know what’s going to work best.
Thank you to Lovehoney, who provided me with the Satisfy Me G-Spot Silicone Dildo in exchange for an honest review! If you’re shopping in the UK, Europe, or Australia, check it out on Lovehoney.co.uk!
I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it again: 2014 is going to be a big year.
Setting goals for yourself is an important part of growing as a person. Some people aim to improve their tidiness (okay, I need to work on that, too), their cooking, or their health. Me? Well, I have some sexuality-based goals for the remainder of 2014.
- Lately, I’ve become dissatisfied with my penchant for small toys, especially insertable toys. My vagina seems to think that Splish is a suitable warm-up toy, and that Mustang is girthy. Oh, ye of little stretch! I want to have a mighty vagina. My goal is to be able to comfortably and pleasurably use the Tantus Cush 02, which frankly looks insurmountable now. Because the vagina is a highly elastic set of muscles, the fear of becoming “loose” is unfounded. Besides, the only people who talk about loose vaginas are those that wish they had more contact with vagina of any kind – I’m looking at you, you fedora-donning knobjockey.
- Anus! As I discussed in my review of the Tantus Meteorite, I’m a butt-n00b. I’ve never used anything bigger than a small plug, and the Meteorite is actually the largest toy I’ve had in my butt. And it felt AWESOME. Anal play requires even more warmup than vaginal play for beginners, but efforts are rewarded. By the end of the year, I’d like to be able to comfortably use a Crystal Delights plug – preferably with a tail because I’ve always wanted a tail – and successfully have the anal sex. If you want to join me in this goal, be sure to pick up a bottle of thick lube like Sliquid Sassy and a small plug with a base so it won’t get lost in your rectum. And remember – it should not hurt, ever! Pain is your body’s way of telling you to stop. This isn’t a Jillian Michaels workout.
- This year, I will make my G-spot work for me. Recently, I acquired the Lelo Mona 2 and the Lovehoney Satisfy Me G-Spot Dildo. I’m making some serious headway with both, but I still want to get my hands on the Pure Wand to really show my G-spot who’s boss/convince it we need to be BFFs (and I ain’t too proud to beg). I would love to learn to squirt, but I think I’m going to count that as a bonus goal.
By our, I mean yours and mine, this blog, for everyone who interacts with it. I’m determined to take it to new heights this year, while I have nothing but time and at least decently appropriate tools of the trade.
Expect many more high-quality photos to be hitting this blog! As it turns out, you can’t really use Amazon.com gift cards to buy things in Germany. For some reason, I was totally convinced that shipping would be no big deal – WRONG. Very, very wrong. So we split the card values, and I Donna Meagled my half. For Black Friday/Cyber Monday, I scored a Nikon D3200 with the regular kit lens (18-55mm) plus a bonus telephoto lens (55-200mm). Now, I just have to get back behind the viewfinder and dust off my skills!
So far, I have four products in my review line-up for early 2014: the WeVibe 3, the Magic Banana, the Tantus Meteorite plug, and the Crave Wink. I had to visit the customs office twice, and explain each product to a disapproving lady with hideous frosted hair, but I finally got my hands on those last three. Oddly, my favorite toy of the bunch so far is the one I was least sure about. (Anyone care to guess which?)
In the coming year, I’d really like to expand my review horizons. I’d love to tackle another wand vibrator, like the new Magic Wand, or one of its competitors. Because my G-spot can be even more fickle than most, I’m still looking for the perfect G-spot vibrator for my anatomy. As an exceptionally short lady with a tall partner, I think I’d be able to really put a position assist cushion through its paces. And, of course, to go along with more G-spot play (because I would love to make 2014 the year of the female ejaculation), it would be pretty rad to finally try an absorbent sex throw. As always, anything else you want to throw at me I will at least happily attempt to put into one of my orifices.
So, what would you like to see on Marvelous-Darling.com in 2014? More reviews? More dating advice? More on sex, with and without toys? Let me know, please!
Bonus: While this has nothing at all to do with sex toys, in the last two months, I’ve fully rediscovered my love for makeup. If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, you might have noticed, since literally half of what I got for Christmas or had shipped to the US for myself was made by Urban Decay or Stila. One of my major goals for 2014 is to begin writing about beauty. Since I recently refocused Marvelous-Darling.com on sex toys and sexuality, I’m not sure if I’ll be doing that here, if I’ll be pitching to outside publications, or if I’ll be turning to Tumblr. I’d love to hear your thoughts on that.