What I’ve Learned So Far

Hi there long-neglected follower darlings!

I spent Wednesday night through Saturday night in Baltimore with the manfriend, his sister, and her boyfriend.  It was probably the most insane vacation I’ve ever taken, even considering the fact that we went to bed during the PM hours almost every night.  We’re super cool like that.  But seriously, I think I drank my weight in beer, ate my weight in brick oven pizza, and walked about 30 miles.  I’m going to write a full post – including some photos – later this week!

It’s been about a week since we began our official move-in, so obviously I’m now an expert on moving in with your significant other.  Obviously, he hasn’t killed me yet or cast me out into the streets, so I must be doing a pretty good job.

What I’ve Learned So Far:

1. If you’re on completely different schedules, figure out how to make it work – you don’t have to adjust them to match.  I go to sleep around 12, and he joins me around 3.  I sleep like the dead, so maybe this wouldn’t work for everyone, but I personally find it a lot more realistic than trying to make my nightowl boyfriend go to sleep in the PM hours.

2. Don’t be cheap.  I used a quart of milk from his carton last week, but bought a gallon today.  He shares his beer with me, and I make him food sometimes.  Unless you start to feel like you’re supporting your SO unfairly, there’s no reason to squabble over a box of cereal.  It’ll probably even out in the end.

3. Ask for space when you need it, nicely.  Both he and I are introverts, and we’ve acknowledged that there will be times when we’ll need “me time”.  I plan on moving some of my desk and blogging stuff into a spare corner so we can have separate work areas (and oh, idk, so I can watch Pretty Little Liars without judgment…).

4. Related to #2, have a plan for certain expenses.  Manfriend and I have an agreement wherein he buys beer for our consumption, and I buy sex toys/accouterments for our use.  He drinks more beer than I do, and I use more sex toys (and lust after far more) than he does, but we happily share.  (Bonus: If you buy glass or pure silicone, you can completely sanitize your toys and actually share.  So cost effective!)

I’ll be back with more wisdom as I glean it.  Since I’ve sucked on Sundays lately, look forward to a weekly links post tomorrow or Wednesday, too.  I promise, it’ll be jumbo.  Like, world’s biggest dildo jumbo.

Lazy Sunday Abraham Linkin’

Heh.  Heheheh.

Is anyone else excited for:

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter  ?!

Well, if you’re not, that’s ok.  You probably just have better taste than I do.  Which, frankly, isn’t difficult because I download Pretty Little Liars every week and sing “Call Me Maybe” with great gusto in the car.

Time for more links of substance!  …and funsies.

Why You Need to Go the Eff to Sleep, a guest post on Yes & Yes by Liz of Being Geeky Chic, is very true!  As my bff Alicia and I are both old ladies who sleep from like 12 or 1 to 8 or 9, we whole heartedly agree.  Except for this morning, when I woke up at 10 because I’m a wild child sometimes.

Keiko Lynn’s post on Sole Society is both beautiful and informative.  I’m definitely going to check them out and keep an eye open around fall when they will undoubtedly launch some booties.  If you love shoes but hate department store prices, you need to get on this, stat.

& How to Be a (Perfect) Girl: Jezebel is probably one of my favorite sites for feminist humor, news, and opinions.  (Ok, you can kind of make fun of me for getting news from Jezebel, that’s fine.)

&  Sarah of SillyGrrl.com wrote a clear, concise, and practical little guide to saving money in fairly painless ways.  As someone looking to beef up her savings account, I can really get on board with this!

What are you loving this Sunday?  Anything you’re excited about in the week ahead?


World Rat Day!

Hi pretties.

This is pretty much the furthest thing from a sex topic, but I’m compelled to talk about it anyway, because it’s still a topic near and dear to my heart: rats as pets.

That’s my chubby cuddly thing, Ewan.  Not all rats are the size of Chipotle burritos, but I have this tendency to adopt really large boy rats.  I like big ole cuddle monsters.

The tails squick a lot of people out, and I can sort of understand that.  They’re scaly, kind of weird, but you get used to them.  Did you know their tails are actually covered in fuzz? They’re really not so unpleasant after all, and they help rats balance when they’re busy doing things like climbing all over their cage, sitting on your shoulders, or getting into trouble (like my laundry basket – always, ALWAYS a rat in the laundry basket!).

Why rats?”  I get that a lot!  Did you know that rats have some of the best qualities of cats and dogs?  Some rats are very playful and will even play fetch with you, while some are super cuddly and want nothing more than to lie on your lap while you browse Marvelous-Darling.com.  Rats even potty-train themselves, and are able to hold their bladders while they’re out with you.  And generally, rats keep themselves very clean –  some rats will even try to clean their owners.

What does it take to keep rats?  A nice, big coated wire cage (I like CritterNation cages or Martin’s Cages), 2+ rats of the same sex, quality food like a special lab block or a low-protein dog food mixed with non-sugary cereals, lots of toys, and at least 1-2 hours per day of play and physical exercise.  Rats can be pricey, especially their vet care, but they’re hands down the most loving and personable “pocket pets” you can have.  If you’re really interested in rat care, leave me a comment or get at me on Twitter!

Where are your rats from?  A pet store?  Nah.  I adopted my boy, along with his now-deceased brother, from the Pittsburgh Rat Lovers Club rescue.  Buying from petstores really unleashes a whole world of problems, including health and temperament issues, and funding irresponsible practices.  You’d probably be surprised by the number of good breeders and rescues there are for rats, particularly in the US and Britain!

I know a couple of other bloggers out there keep rats.  Anyone else?  Have I changed anyone’s mind on the furry little vermin?  Anyone want to come play with Ewan?  I’m sure he’d love the company!



Rainy Saturday

Hi pretties.

How was everyone’s week?  My favorite professor always begins class with, “Any questions, comments, issues, stories?”  So, anyone?  Please share the high- or low-lights of your week!

Highlight: I was able to start running again!  I bought a pair of Nike Pegasus in white/pink and took off around my apartment.  I’m doing 12 minute miles, which isn’t horrible, but by the beginning of next week I want to be back to doing roughly a 5k run (really, a walk/jog) once a week with shorter runs padding the week out.  It felt amazing to wake up today at 9, go right out to run, and come home to find the rest of the day just stretching out ahead of me!

Lowlight: I failed an accounting exam.  Boo hiss.  Let’s be serious: I’m not an accountant.  I am an econ major.  My accounting professor said, “Bonds are basically the exact same thing as stocks,” and as an accountant, sure, you can look at it that way, but the little economist that lives in my brain went, “ARE YOU &@#&ING SERIOUS!?”  I couldn’t take it.  I’m just not cut out for that world.  It’s too concrete.  Luckily, I do have time to do some extra credit and try not to royally screw up the final.  Have any of you ever seriously struggled with a class, especially one you expected to be easy-peasy?

from imgfave.com

I’ve been trying really hard to be more positive lately.  (Truth be told, finally being treated for anxiety helps haha.)  For every bad thing that happens during the day, usually you can find one thing to balance it, or one thing to look forward to in the near future.  Big bad things happen, and those can’t just be ignored.  You have to work through the big bad things.  But the little bad things can’t just ruin your day.  If you let your day be ruined early on, you’re just making yourself miserable.  You get caught in the mind trap of thinking it’s a bad day, and you don’t go looking to make it better.  For every one miserable customer I have at the cafe, I have five more smiley sweet ones.  Who matters more?

Share with me your positivity tips!  Or, if you struggle with thinking positively,  I want to hear about that too.

Safe & sexy,


I Dunno, Cupid…

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Hi pretties!

It’s been a very long time since I posted about this, but it’s exciting so I feel like broaching it again: online dating.  I don’t think I’ve ever addressed here, properly, why I like it and why I don’t think it’s just for crazy cat ladies.

I’ve actually met some nice, normal guys online.  Specifically, on OKCupid.  It’s free, and there are a lot of students – both undergrad and graduate – in my area.  Perfect, really, for casually dating or looking for something more serious.  I swear!  It’s true!  Guys who have respected me, had life goals, and carried on great conversations!  They just weren’t the guys for me – and that’s okay.

If you have the chance to check out someone’s profile before you go out, you can tell at least a couple of things about them.  In my experience, people’s pictures are pretty accurate.  I’ve never met up with someone and thought, “Wait, that’s him?”  Usually, people at least try to give you a decent idea of who they are.  You can find out if you have a couple of surface-level commonalities to at least get the conversation ball rolling, and it’s usually decently simple to weed out the guys looking for just sex and find guys actually looking for a date.  (I know!  I know!  Dates!)

I’ve heard this little pearl of wisdom more times than I can count: “Friends first.”  Here’s the thing about dating your friends: you can’t go out on a date – usually – and just take things back to normal if things don’t go well.  You actually stand a chance of losing a friend if you try and fail to date them.  Sometimes, this works out awesomely and you get to be best friends with benefits and commitment so like, you can cook dinner and then when you get food poisoning and can’t have sex later, you’re ok saying, “Hey, babe, I just vommed.  Maybe tomorrow.”  With a new dude, that’s intimidating.  So yes, sometimes this works very well.  But often, you lose friends.  It’s also confusing for people like me who like to know where things stand.  Does he have feelings for you?  Does he want to take it further?  Do you?  What does it all mean?

If you start on a dating site, you have at least a decent idea of what the other person wants.  They either want sex, a date, or a relationship.  They may not know which of those three they want, but they probably don’t want to just be friends.  So, if you go out once and you’re like, “Nah, dog,” it’s okay.  You don’t have to see him again if you don’t want to!  You can just keep going on dates with new dudes and practice your rad date skills ’til you meet a dude you want to go on a date #2, 3, 4, 5, and sex with! It’s grand!  Trust me!

Ok, fine, I admit – there’s a dark side to online dating.  Some people are weird.  Really weird.  If you’re curious, I actually once posted about my very first OKCupid date, which was not so nice.  But I promise you, if you do some decent messaging back and forth and listen to your gut, you will run into one, maybe two total weirdos.  And you will meet some decent people, even if you don’t end up with them.  I firmly believe it was a great experience for me to learn to casually go on dates and enjoy myself with new people.

I’m really sorry if this post was horribly disorganized!  It was a very long day.  I had an intermediate microeconomics exam this morning, wherein my brain decided it hated algebra and screw that, it wasn’t doin’ it.

Have you ever tried online dating?  What did you think?  Are you skeptical?

Safe & sexy,