Slippery When Wet


Everyone at Adam & Eve knows that I have some kind of weird obsession with finding The Perfect Lubricant.  I mean, really.  Is there anything more integral to good sex than the perfect keep-it-going-juice?  I think not.  Besides, you know, a sex partner or a good toy.  So the running joke is that if anyone has lube questions, they can be directed to me.  Flavored, warming, cooling, natural, organic, vegan, silicone, hybrid, water, liquid, gel…  Is your head spinning yet?  Let’s break it down…

Water Based

Water based lubricants are probably the most common lubricants on the market.  They include KY Liquid (which is superior to KY Jelly, which is frankly kind of disgusting and medical), Astroglide, and specialty names such as JO H2O, Intimate Organics, and Sliquid.  A lot of women lean towards water based lubes because they’re familiar, and hey, water is kind of important to us as a species.  There are a couple things to watch out for in your water based lubricants, though:

Glycerine – It’s still argued whether glycerine can really lead to yeast infections, as not all glycerin is created equal.  Cheaper, less quality glycerins are more likely to cause an infection.  Glycerine is also what makes some lubricants taste sweet, and because it is a sugar derivative, it can feed yeast.  Bottom line: I would caution you to stay away unless you have a vagina of steel.

Parabens – Parabens are widely used in cosmetics, foodstuffs, and pharmaceuticals as preservatives, and have been declared unsafe by the FDA in certain amounts.  Because they’re deemed unsafe in quantities larger than what we find in cosmetics, lubricants, and even food, many people choose to avoid them altogether.  Women who are sensitive, prone to yeast infections, or are concerned about the safety of these chemicals should avoid lubricants containing parabens.

Fortunately, many lubricants are now being marketed as Glycerin and Paraben Free, such as Sliquid Organics, Intimate Organics, and JO for Women.  Babeland’s BabeLube is also glycerin and paraben free, and they even make a natural organic version.  All of the lubricants mentioned in this paragraph are also Vegan, apart from JO for Women (as far as I know).

My favorite?  Intimate Organics Defense (Adam & Eve Pittsburgh, represent!), which contains carrageenan, an algae extract.  Defense actually helps protect the natural pH and microflora levels in the vagina, effectively preventing yeast infections.  The carrageenan actually keeps the lubricant slick and thick, great for vaginal intercourse or use with toys.  It doesn’t get sticky or tacky during handjobs, either, which you know is a rarity if you’ve ever tried pleasing your man with a water based lubricant.  Bonus: Carrageenan has been shown in some studies to help prevent the spread of HPV.

Silicone Based 

Silicone lubricants are the marathoners of sex lubes.  They might even outlast you, unless you’re Sting and you’re into tantric sex or something.  Seriously.  The most common ingredient in silicone lubricants is Dimethicone, which can be made from sand.  Which, honestly, freaks me out because imagine sand in your vagina.  No, actually, don’t.  Just keep reading.

Silicone lubricants do not dissolve in water and do not sink quickly into your skin, which is what gives them their staying power.  Instead of being absorbed by the vagina tissue like water based lubricants are, they stay slick laying on top of the tissue.  So what are the drawbacks?  They’re not natural or organic products, and if you are concerned about the safety of dimethicone (Canada is, the US isn’t), you might wish to stay away.  Also, you cannot use silicone lubricant with silicone toys, or you will risk ruining your toy.  You can, however, use silicone lubricants with condoms.

But why choose silicone lubricant?  If you have a very sensitive vagina and even Sliquid Organics causes you pH grief, a simple, quality silicone lubricant could be just what you need.  Pink is very popular among women with sensitivities, and Babeland makes a high quality silicone lubricant of their own that is supposed to be very similar.  Some people love silicone lubricant for anal sex and anal play, too, though it is harder to find a thicker formulation which is usually favored for backdoor entry.

Hybrid Lubricants

Hybrids are a mix of silicone and water based lubricants, which sounds silly and a bit pointless, but they can actually be quite nice.  I like them for the fact that they’re long lasting, but easy to clean up.  Dare I say they’re the Hannah Montana of lubricants: the best of both worlds.  Oh yeah, I went there.  Things you don’t want to picture.  Sorry.

Despite my parting ways with Pure Romance, if you attend a party any time in the near future, I do recommend their Pure Silk lubricant.  It’s a hybrid, but it’s somehow safe to use with toys.  I’ve never used any other hybrid lubricant, but JO makes one that I wouldn’t hesitate to try out.  Warning: most hybrids cannot be used with silicone toys. Do not ruin your investment pieces.  


Yum!  There are many, many types and brands of flavored lubricants, from the cheapo jelly-like tubes to the warming, saccharin-sweet “massage liquids” to higher-end, more body friendly options.  What you really need to know is that what’s suitable for the penis isn’t always suitable for the vagina.  A friend of mine swears by warming, flavored massage liquid for blowjobs.  Would I ever suggest using that for oral sex on a woman?  Nope.  It’s simply too sweet, and the sweeter a lubricant is, the more sugary and potentially yeast-causing it is.

My personal favorite flavored lubricant is JO H2O (again, holla to Adam & Eve Pittsburgh!), which is available in several tasty but not too sweet flavors, and is made with top quality glycerine to keep it safe for vaginal use for most women.  I have the cherry flavor, while most others seem to prefer pomegranate or strawberry.  If you’re looking for a certifiably vegan option, check out Intimate Organics, which also warm to the touch.

Things That are Not Good Lubricants and/or Will Make Your Vagina Very Sad

Spit – Stays wet for, what, five seconds?  Unless you’re using it to refresh some water based lube (yep, it works!), spit is not a lubricant.

Oil based lubricants – Great for handies, awful for vaginal sex.  At best, you’ll have an oily vagina and stained sheets.  At worst, you’ll have bacterial vaginosis and/or a urinary tract infection.  If it’s creamy, don’t put it in you.  The worst culprit of this is Whipped, from Pure Romance.  That stuff is satan in a squeeze tube, and a large part of why I quit the biz.

Soap or shower gel – Sex in the shower is great.  Soap in your vagina is not great.  No fingering with soap, no vaginal intercourse with soap.  Soap has a completely different pH than your vagina.  Don’t make your vagina sad.

Whew!  What’s your favorite – or least favorite – lubricant?  Do you have a new one on your must try list now?

Sick & Lazy Sunday

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Hi darlings,

So apparently retail is a danger to your health and well-being.  Not like, shopping, but working in retail.  But actually, it’s probably just my weak-ass immune system, which essential works about 70% of the time.  If there’s something going around, I will come down with it.  My throat hurts like the dickens.

Luckily for you, this means I’ve had plenty of time to sit in bed looking for Sunday links!  Hoorah!

Throwback: This guest post by Kyla Roma on My Girl Thursday was one of the first posts I read about starting a blog and how to do it your way.

&  As you probably know, I love all things Instagram.  I’m an Instawhore.  Ergo, I was completely giddy when Gala posted Ten Ways to Make Your Instagram Photos Pop, because Gala ‘grams with the best of ’em.

&  I’m always freaking out over being “an adult” – mind you, I have a Hello Kitty toaster and received an Easter basket this year – and the blog Adulting makes it so much easier.  If you feel underprepared to be an adult, go.  There are tons of tips on everyday things life throws at you that you will need to take care of because mum & dad are no longer responsible for you.

&  Stela always posts amazing tutorials on her blog Stelabird; one of my favorites is this zippered mini pouch.  Also, she’s a small business owner, so she automatically gets +500 cool points.

&  Have you been following Sarah’s 6 Weeks to a Better Blog series?  I’m addicted!


I think the rest of today will be spent cleaning and shopping at H&M.  I’m in major need of some new summer dresses and skirts, and I’ve noticed that my old clothes just don’t fit my body like they used to.  Instead of cramming myself into them and feeling awkward and guilty, I think I’m going to try shopping for my new hips instead.  (I gained about 7lb this year, and it all settled on the hips, boobs, and butt… I’m counting myself lucky!)  Anyone else in need of a seasonal wardrobe update?




New Job Announcement + Instagrams!


I know it’s been ridiculously long since last I posted, and I even neglected Lazy Sunday (because ironically, it wasn’t lazy at all).  I’m a failure.  Except I’m not a failure because I’ve been working at my new job for around 25 hours a week!  It’s pretty fantastic, and now I can actually tell you about it!

I just started at Adam & Eve Pittsburgh!  If you’ve never heard of Adam & Eve, it started in the 70’s as a mail delivery service for condoms, and grew until it became a well-known and trusted brand for toys, contraception, and even lingerie.  The Pittsburgh store is pretty heavily lingerie based, and caters particularly to women and couples.  In the two weeks since I started, I have to say, it’s been a great experience.  I’m loving the staff, I have fun at work, and I really feel like I’m helping people in an under-served niche.  If you’re in Pittsburgh but you’ve never been to a “sex toy store” or you’ve been to Adult Mart and found it just a little too skeevy for your tastes, I think you would like Adam & Eve.  Full disclosure: The store did not pay me to write this, and I do not receive any special perks for it.  I legitimately am really enjoying my new job!  

Ready for some Instagrams??


I totally forget what this is called, but it’s delicious. //  I hung out with lingerie models at my new job.  Nbd.

Fresh mozz and roasted tomatoes on bruschetta.  //  Me, in the car, being washed out.

My new 1970’s era typewriter.  It needs some TLC.  (No Scrubs)  //  My faaaavorite flowers are yellow roses.  So pretty.

I finally learned how to use a framing app for my Instagrams!

Whew!  Be back soon with more, including an actual real Lazy Sunday post!



What’s the Buzz? Part 1

So when is this whole sex-positive thing going to come into play?  Right now.

What’s the Buzz? will be a series of posts, likely interrupted by other posts on other topics, about choosing a vibrator.  We’re going to look at materials, types of vibrators, and companies/vendors.  By the end, I’ll have a decently comprehensive list of toys that should please everyone and, let’s face it, their mom.  Because mom needs some good vibrations too, y’know?  On to the toys!

If you’ve never shopped for a vibrator before, you’re in the right place!  I’m going to write this guide as a first-time-buyers’ guide, but hopefully it’ll be helpful to anyone who isn’t particularly well versed in the business of pleasure.  Not sure where to start?  Let’s learn a little bit about materials.

First things first: There are some dangerous materials out there.  You have to watch out for phthalates.  I’m no chemist, but there is an excellent article on phthalates available here from She Bop, a female-friendly sex toy boutique in Portland, OR.

Whew!  Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s look at some safe & sexy materials to start the fun!

100% Medical Grade Silicone: This type of silicone is widely considered to be THE top of the line sex toy material.  Medical grade silicone is phthalate free and is able to be 100% sterilized, so it can be shared with a partner without fear of contamination as long as it is properly cleaned.  As a non-porous material, you can actually clean silicone with a mild soap and water, a special toy cleaner, a heavily diluted bleach solution, boiling it, or running it through the dish washer.  The method you choose will vary with the toy and your living situation, but it is absolutely one of the cleanest materials for a toy that you can possibly buy.  Good silicone has a silky texture and a little bit of give to it.  The only real drawback to a silicone vibrator is that you cannot use silicone lubricant with it at the risk of destroying the silicone of your toy!

Silicone Mixes and Blends: A toy made of a mix of silicone and rubber or silicone and other materials may contain phthalates depending upon the other materials in the mix.  You should always check to see that the toy is listed as phthalate free, unless you buy from a shop (in person or online) that sells only body-safe toys.  My personal favorite right now is Babeland – all of their toys are phthalate free!

Thermoplastic Rubber: Thermoplastic Rubber (TPR for short) is a great material for those who can’t afford silicone or don’t like the firmness of many silicone toys.  TPR has a lot of give to it, and it’s a great material for a beginner’s toy because it’s not firm and intimidating.  TPR is almost jelly-like, but unlike jelly, it doesn’t contain phthalates!  It’s also much easier to keep clean.  I personally recommend using a toy cleaner on TPR because I like knowing that I’m cleaning with something that first, won’t destroy the material, and second, WILL destroy all those little microbes waiting to mess up my vagina.  (The cleaner I have is from Pure Romance, but because they do not list the materials of their toys, I simply cannot advocate making toy purchases through them.)

If you want to purchase a toy that does contain phthalates, know that you should only use your toy with a condom on it, to avoid potential problems with harmful chemicals in your body.  Be extra vigilant in washing your toys if they contain phthalates, as they are also likely to be porous and more prone to holding harmful bacteria.  Again, I do suggest a specialized toy cleaner for those types of toys.

A Note on Lubricants: I recommend using a water based lubricant with all toys, but I will be doing lubricant posts in the future.  It’s very easy to find a good, reliable water based lube, though.  I’ve heard great things about Sliquid H2O and have liked Just Like Me, available from Pure Romance.

I will be back in part two of this series to talk about types of vibrators, so stay tuned!

Safe & sexy,