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Please tell me I’m not the only one who thought of Gob Bluth upon hearing the name of this new-ish kegel exerciser?
I like the idea of the Magic Banana. It took years to develop, and it’s touted as a sexual exploration tool, which I think is an apt label for most sex toys. It’s billed as both a kegel exerciser and a g-spot stimulator. It’s evident that a lot of work went into making this toy, and it was actually designed by a woman (with a vagina).
Before testing the Magic Banana, I read the box and read through the manual. Nothing in the manual was surprising to me, but I think it contained great info for a kegel or g-spot newbie. It was very body-positive, and not chock-full of the typical heteronormative language that we see a lot of in mass-market sex toy manufacture. Seriously, bravo, Janeson Rayne! Unfortunately, I could not find the material listed anywhere on or inside of the package. (According to SheVibe, it’s made of completely body-safe FDA approved plastic, and judging by the lack of smell and totally smooth, non-sticky texture, I believe that.)
The loop is rather large, but it’s also quite flexible. As instructed, I washed the Magic Banana before use with some mild dish soap. There’s a curve to the Magic Banana’s loop, and the instructions say to use with the curve pointed up if you’re laying on your back or sitting up. You simply squeeze the two sides of the loop together and insert, with or without a water-based lubricant. I went without in order to see what the texture felt like without a barrier. It glided very smoothly, and the slight curve did lightly stimulate my g-spot. However, when I tried to flex, I couldn’t feel anything. I slipped a finger in to confirm: There was no flexing effect on the Magic Banana. I guess I’ve been faithfully doing my kegels to the point where they just kind of clamp around the Magic Banana and hold it together no matter what. Unfortunately, this makes it a completely null kegel exerciser for me.
When it comes to g-spot exploration, I actually really like the Magic Banana. (Note that I say exploration and not significant stimulation.) Because the curved tip of the loop is small, it really helped me to pinpoint where my g-spot is, something I’ve had trouble doing in the past. It felt nice in use, but I wouldn’t describe it as intense. Because the loop is so flexible, I couldn’t get the right amount of pressure to really get my g-spot going. I built up some serious arousal, but I had to reach for my Mia 2 to get the job done.
When it came time to clean the Magic Banana again, it was easy as pie. The smoothness of the loop makes for a quick clean, as opposed to toys with crevices or lots of texture. I was, however, mildly disappointed to realize I couldn’t blow bubbles with it.
I think I’ll continue to use the Magic Banana to hone my g-spot exploration, but as for kegel exercise, it just doesn’t do the trick.
Thank you, SheVibe!
Over the weekend, because my partner was going to an academic conference, I had the awesome opportunity to visit Caitlin from Sex-ational! My prior experiences in Philly had been nice, but spent entirely with an ex boyfriend, so it was fun to reclaim the city a little bit. Until the last 12 hours, it was a fantastic trip – but I’ll get to that later.
We met up for dinner on Friday night and went to an amazing restaurant called Vedge. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it much, but my partner is a vegetarian, and I try to go along with his lifestyle as much as possible. Anyway, if you have the chance to go to Vedge, do it. It’s actually a vegan restaurant, which I didn’t realize until I read the website again. Some people might call that a good thing, but I like vegans, so I’ll just say that it makes it a little bit of an easier to sell to the meat & potatoes crowd. The atmosphere was very trendy, and they served some of the richest, most succulent food I’ve ever had. It’s more of a tapas experience than an individual entrees kind of meal, so I recommend sharing it with friends of similar tastes. (You may also find yourself ordering a pizza 3 hours later. Don’t judge.) They also have a deliciously spicy and unfiltered house made ginger beer, which combines with Snap liquor very nicely. Unfortunately, we inhaled the food before I could take any photos.
After dinner, we went to Kink, which is an awesome newer sex-positive shop focusing on – you guessed it – kink. They were having a rope suspension demo that night, which was awesome to watch. We also got to chat with one of the owner’s friends, and I pointed her in the direction of the Tantus Splish after we bemoaned the dearth of interesting small dildos.
The following day, Caitlin and I met up for some thrifting and window shopping. I scored a soft, well-worn Philly roller derby t-shirt and a pair of Paper Denim & Cloth cut offs for $9 total, so you can start being jealous now if you weren’t already. For some refreshment, we had Thai Iced Coffee at Rocket Cat Cafe, which was super cozy, vegan-friendly, and out of my league with its cool factor.
Our last stops were to visit some of the local adult stores, as toy reviewers do. I don’t have any pictures of this part of the tour because that’s generally frowned upon for consumer privacy reasons. We ogled lingerie, squeezed dual-density dildos, and showed one of the shop managers the BS Is Nice toy we were carrying around with us. All in a day’s work.
At the end of the day on Saturday, we settled in at Casa de Sex-ational with some wine, cheese, and Tantus dildos. I brought the Raptor along to compare to her new Duke, and then we decided that we couldn’t let the moment go uncaptured.
I’m so sorry for my extended absence! I still have two toy reviews and one book review to write/publish, but I thought a wedding recap would be in slightly higher demand.
Our wedding was on Saturday August 10th, which also happens to be my parents’ anniversary. It was outside, and we were so lucky to have beautiful weather! I believe it was 75 and partly sunny all day. (Thanks, Pittsburgh!)
The Quaker-style ceremony was beautiful, and I pretty much cried the entire time. I also totally forgot that I even had a bouquet. Dmitri only sort of botched the ring bearer job, and Daphne barked only once – during a lull in the time meant for sharing. About 50% of the guests responded with “Amen!” when Steve’s sister closed the ceremony with the words of Ru Paul.
We’re waiting for the official wedding and engagement photos, but as soon as I have them, I’ll be making a pro-photo post with all kinds of beautiful images. I’m really lucky to have a good friend from high school who grew into a talented photographer! For now, I’ll be relying on my friends’ and family’s Instagram snaps.
I’ve been friends with these girls for around 15 years. As you can see, they’re very supportive.
The dress was from Modcloth, and underneath, I wore the same corset that my mother wore on her wedding day. Unfortunately, this meant that I couldn’t breathe. Which led to me changing into my reception apparel after almost choking on homemade sangria.
After my introvert ass had enough of all the (lovely) people milling around, my ~husband~ and I left for our wedding night surprise at around 10pm. It. Was. INCREDIBLE. My mum – with the help of one of my best friends from elementary school – booked us a suite at the Fairmont hotel, where we celebrated like either kings or rap stars. I mean, we drank champagne in the shower. One entire wall was a window. And everything was chocolate.
My good friend Alicia (third from the right in photo #1), who’s made a few appearances on this blog, was the mastermind behind the suite’s – ah hem – creative decorating that night.
And the next morning, after saying goodbye to my new in-laws, we left for Canada. I’d never been outside the country before, so we took off for Toronto, where we’d made reservations via Air B ‘n B.
One of my absolute favorite highlights of the trip include our first dinner in Toronto, at the Grand Electric. If you’re ever in the Parkdale neighborhood, GO. Their tacos are incredible! The drink prices are high, but from what I saw, about what you’d expect in TO. (In Pittsburgh, if you tried to charge me $8 for a standard lager, I’d take your head off.)
The next day, we did some window shopping, met the lovely folks at Good for Her, and did some more mulling about. It was a good day, but by far, my favorite day of our trip was Tuesday, when we went to the beach Centre Island…
Then headed to Come As You Are, where I pretty much wanted to move in and befriend all the staff. I told Steve while we were there, a good sex shop is like my personal spiritual home. Like I can walk in, exhale, and ahhhh… Relaxation and rejuvenation. And dildos. Lots of dildos. And, as I got very excited about and squealed with one of the proprietors, MAPLE FLAVORED CONDOMS! (Which sadly didn’t have that much maple flavor but did smell yummy.)
We’re back in Pittsburgh for now, husband and wife. One week from today, though, we’re heading to Philly, where I’ll be meeting the lovely Caitlin of Sexational!
It feels like this entire wedding/moving process is taking forever, but it’s really coming up fast. The wedding is 16 days away, and we still need: a bow tie for him, shoes for me, and wedding bands for both of us. We’re thinking of going the Etsy route for bands, and I guess we need to make up our minds, like, yesterday.
In the mean time, we’ve been trying to enjoy everything we possibly can in our corner of Pittsburgh. My bridal shower was last weekend, where we enjoyed dinner at Piccolo Forno and cupcakes from Vanilla.
We have plans to visit our favorite bar – and the location of our first date – a few more times before we hop on the plane, too. (If you’re curious, it’s called the Squirrel Hill Cafe, but patrons usually call it The Cage. Google ‘at ‘n yinz is in for a good mill and maybe an Ir’n City.)
I’m personally going to be extra nostalgic for another Squirrel Hill staple: the 61C Cafe. I was a barista there for a year and a half, and it’s definitely the job (and staff) I miss the most. Unfortunately, the website hasn’t been updated since I was a sophomore in high school, so don’t go looking there for any relevant information. Facebook them instead, and if you go, get some hot chocolate. With whipped cream, obviously, because this isn’t fucking South Beach.
Oh yeah, and I guess another important thing about the wedding: We haven’t figured out the ceremony yet. Or our vows. And I’ve heard that winging it isn’t a very popular or successful strategy for a ceremony that will, in large part, define the beginning of our (legal) lives together. And since we’re self-officiating, we can’t fall back on whatever the judge/minister/rabbi usually does.
Any last-minute wedding ideas? Things you wish you’d thought of? Thoughts on how to pull of a short, sweet, personal ceremony?
It’s been a little over a week since my last update, mostly because we’re seriously coming up on wedding crunch time. Last Friday was our Bro-chill-orette party, so named because it was for both bachelor and bachelorette, with all kinds of guests.
We aimed to go to Industry Public House for dinner (try one of their smokestacks ~ whiskey + smoke + bacon simple syrup), then Arsenal Lanes for bowling and karaoke. Awesomely, an even bigger party than expected showed up! And we drank and ate and blew penis-shaped whistles until 11:30, at which time we couldn’t get in to bowl or sing our hearts out to 90s songs. And unfortunately, the only picture I have of anyone blowing a penis whistle actually looks like someone toking a bowl, so I won’t be sharing that on the www.
This was probably early in the evening. And yes, that tiara does have penises on it.
But all was not lost! We continued the party back home, where both Daphne and her cousin Charlie joined us.
At some point, I apparently had such a great time that I don’t remember handing out 1/3 of my wedding invitations. When our guests left, I insisted we put on Adventure time, and then sang along the theme song. So, I guess I did karaoke. …And made sound effects for the 10 minutes of the episode that I got through before throwing up on a pillow.
Interested in more wedding stuff? Oh good! Because you’re not getting any respite ’til I do, and that’s not til August 11th.
Because PA is one of the few states that allows self-officiating marriage (thanks, Quakers!), we’ve opted for a self-officiating license. That’s cool because it means we get to officiate our own wedding, but it’s also not cool because um, we have to officiate our own wedding. Stress eating is a thing. I want some damn toast.