Today, I’m taking my first plane ride in 10 years and heading to Saint Louis to visit Steve’s family! I couldn’t be more excited to see them again. We’re planning to celebrate our engagement, visit the City Museum, and go cliff diving. Crazy shit considering we’ll only be there until Sunday!
Things I hope the TSA doesn’t confiscate: Lelo Luna Beads (mini), MiMi v1, or my Lush essentials. Note: By “essentials”, I mean a 12 step routine that would put even the likes of Donatella Versace to shame.
And now for Wedding Wednesday: Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties!
What to do, what to do. I’ve never really had just one group of friends, and because of that, I love to associate with so many different kinds of people. Even online, I have my sex blogger friends, my lifestyle blogger friends, and even my animals-on-Instagram friends. It’s even more diverse in person! Because of this, I’ve gotten all kinds of bachelorette party suggestions, from a BYOB painting class (fun, but not my idea of a bachelorette party), to a wild night with a limo and South Side bars (um hi anxiety attack).
Listen. I want there to be strippers. I love strippers.
You might not know this about me, but I have a damn good time at a strip club. I love to watch men get hustled, and a dancer with pole skills is simply a lovely sight to behold. Furthermore, male strippers are hilarious. Sometimes they’re kinda sexy, but mostly? Just a riot. I’ve seen a few nice looking penises in my day (and more than a few nice butts), but booty poppin’ just isn’t the same when it’s done by a man. It’s all about the physical form, and the discomfort or total rapture of those around you. Steve’s first time at a strip club was with me, and if I had had a little more cash to throw around, I would have bought him a lap dance. That’s just the kind of giving soul I am.
I’d really like to combine mine and Steve’s bachelorette/bachelor parties, and happily, there’s a club in our city that has male and female dancers on Saturday nights. I don’t want to combine because I’m afraid of what might happen without me there – quite to the contrary! I’m afraid that without me there to egg them on, Steve may never get that pre-marriage lap dance that he deserves. What kind of wife would I be if I let that happen?
Anyway. There’s a time and a place for wine and class, and that’s at the bridal shower – I can certainly clean up when I want to.