Well, it’s been a hot minute since my last post.
Most — if not all — of you probably know that I relocated to England at the end of August. September passed in an absolute flash. In fact, I can’t believe October is nearly halfway over.
I wish I had a “better” reason for neglecting writing for the last month, but the truth is just that I’ve been busy. I’ve been a happy kind of busy, in fact. I started a new job in late September, and while it’s just a temporary position for now, I’m absolutely loving it.
Here’s what it feels like to be here: It feels like finally getting enough air. I never felt fully comfortable or fully at home in Germany, as much as so many people seemed to want me to, or even expect me to. The truth of living in another country, particularly one where you don’t fluently speak the language, is that it can be very isolating and very hard. When you have depression and anxiety, that can make things even harder. I never fit in, and while I miss the community that I found among some of my closest friends, I don’t miss living there.
I feel like I fell right into step here. It’s new, it’s different, but it’s also familiar. I’m a person who finds fulfillment in interacting with other people, and being able to now have a full, real, rich conversation with just about anyone is the most fulfilling thing about my day-to-day life. It’s amazing, not having to struggle for words or piece together sentences that I really need to hear twice to understand. I feel buoyant.
And so, I’m really concentrating on setting myself up for success here. I’m finding solace in long conversations with my coworkers, and even with customers who are excited to chat about new products, expatriating, or how their day is going. It feels good and right to throw myself into my life here.
I don’t know what this means, really. I was working on a new project that’s stalled a bit in a light of changing the direction of my efforts. I have no desire to say that I’ll never come back, or even that I’m gone at all. I just wanted you — anyone who care about where I’ve been and where I’m going — to know that things are looking up.