You might be surprised if I told you that the most-used sex toys I own are the Doxy Wand and Doxy Wand Die Cast, especially if you’re familiar with my regular preferences. But – and this important – the Doxy Wand is no one trick pony.
Don’t underestimate the building pleasure of having a powerful massager run up and down your body.
It might be unusual for you to take a step back and slowly get to know your partner’s body, particularly if you’re in a long-term relationship. The Doxy Wand might just be the perfect tool for the job1.
See, because the Doxy Wand is so strong (it packs the most punch among all the toys I own), you’re probably going to want to start slow. I’m not a huge fan of the first speed as I think it’s a bit too low for body massage, but I love it when my partner starts at one of the middle speeds and builds up to the highest.
This set-up is great because encourages sensual but not necessarily sexual touch. Obviously, I love sexual touch! But sensual touch is just different, and for many of us, it’s something that we need and that we crave. Sensual touch for the sake of sensual touch also removes the pressure to perform that some people feel during sex.
Also, depending upon how you’re using the wand, it can be an exchange of power. I have a little bit of a sadistic streak, so hearing my partner groan in pain when I’m working out the knots in his back gives me a little shiver. Likewise, I’m quite ticklish, so letting him use the Doxy Wand on me is a trust building act.
If you want to use a massage glide with your Doxy Die Cast, I would recommend staying away from silicone unless you’ve already done a patch test. Instead, try coconut oil, since that’s also vagina-friendly.
Although I prefer pin-point stimulation, I can still enjoy the deep, broad vibrations of the Doxy Wand.
I love the Doxy Wand as a warm-up toy because it really gets blood circulating about my vulva. For anyone who’s ever struggled with arousal (hello, many people on anti-depressants!), this can be a godsend.
But Sarah, you may ask, isn’t it a bad sign for my partner if I’m not aroused already?
Let’s talk briefly about spontaneous and responsive desire. Spontaneous desire, as the name implies, occurs out of the blue. Responsive desire occurs as a response to something, like having your partner ask if you want to get it on. I’ve mentioned this on the blog before, but I believe it bears repeating: One is not superior to the other.2
A lot of women are responsive desire types, although it’s not limited only to women (or people with vaginas) and there is nothing wrong if you are a woman who experiences a lot of spontaneous desire. But, I am a woman who is much more responsive in her desire and sometimes this means that I’m not already aroused and ready to go when I hop into bed. This is where a warm-up comes in!
To warm up, I use the Doxy Wand first on a low speed, usually over my underwear. Once I start getting into it, I crank up the speed until I feel like I’ve got my blood flow going and I’m ready to move onto something more targeted.
Sometimes people scoff at the idea that anyone might use a “massager” as, well, a massager. I used to be one of those people. Those people are missing out.
I’m prone to awful muscle tension in my shoulders and my back. I don’t know if it’s my posture, the way my body carries my anxiety, or if it’s the bad back that runs in my family. All I know is, the Doxy Wand Die Cast provides near-instant relief and I don’t have to schedule it weeks in advance.
Sometimes, when using the Doxy as an actual massager, I find myself accidentally pressing its enormous buttons and changing the speed when I don’t intend to. While this is annoying, I don’t consider it a deal-breaker.
Of course, masturbation is also a form of self care. If wands work for you orgasmically, then the Doxy Die Cast is a phenomenal option.
Doxy Wand vs Doxy Die Cast
I own both the original Doxy Wand and the Doxy Die Cast, and as with almost anything, when you’re choosing between them it really comes down to a matter of preference.
Both wands are the same length and width, they have the same giant buttons, and they both plug in3. They also have the same motor inside them.
The original Doxy Wand has a hard plastic body, a medical-grade PVC head4, weighs 1lb 2oz, and costs $129.99 at SheVibe. The Doxy Die Cast has an aluminum body, buttons that light up, a double-weighted silicone head, weighs a whopping 1lb 8oz, and costs $189.99 at SheVibe.
If you want a multi-tasking vibrator that packs a punch and you aren’t afraid of a little heavy lifting, I would highly recommend you pick up a Doxy Wand (original or Die Cast) before prices go up in March!
- Everyone’s different – if you’re super ticklish or very sensitive to strong vibration, this might not be true for you. ↩
- You can read more about responsive desire in Come As You Are, or on Emily Nagoski’s blog. ↩
- And can be used with a travel adapter. ↩
- Medical-grade PVC is body-friendly, but cannot be disinfected for use by multiple partners the way that silicone can. ↩