As a sex blogger, and particularly as a toy reviewer, I have a lot of toys. Naturally, I’ve faced a pretty common problem (where do I put my sex toys?) on a very large scale (where do I put approximately 50 sex toys and 20 lubricants?), and I have some ideas for you if you’re dealing with something similar.

SexToyStorage

Behold: The Awaiting Review shelf!

You see, I struggle with “out of sight, out of mind.” Clever discreet storage solutions don’t work for me, because I will literally forget that things exist. In fact, I tried to discreetly store my Tantus Perfect Plugs, and now I can’t find them. Lesson learned.

So because I share my bedroom only with my husband, who embraces my eccentricities and my job, I decided to employ the old IKEA spice rack method so beloved by the likes of Queeraschino and JoEllen. Let me tell you: It’s life-changing.

I put my spice sex toy rack up above my dresser, which is against the wall at the foot of my bed. The first drawer of the dresser is home to my formidable lubricant collection, condoms, and sexy underthings that don’t get a lot of play outside the bedroom. Next to the dresser is a power strip for easy vibe-charging. And I can reach all of it from the foot of my bed, making “Hold on, just let me go get one thing!” a thing of the past.

In addition to the spice rack, I put some of my favorite vibes, dildos, and plugs on the shelf directly above the head of my bed. The Doxy Wand, Mona 2, Pure Plug, and Eroscillator all live there for easy grabbing.

Do things get dusty on the shelves? Of course. Sometimes, try as I might for convenience, I do have to make a bathroom run to ensure that my pleasure object is ready to go. But in general, this is leaps and bounds ahead of my last storage situation. Which was…

Labelled IKEA boxes like these.

These cardboard, nice-ish boxes are a great solution for people who are short on cash and want a little more privacy. You can label them like I did (awaiting review, insertable non-vibe, insertable vibe, external vibe, anal, kegel) or leave them unmarked if you’re keeping them in view of other people and want to maintain some privacy.

This is still how I’m storing my less-used toys, because it keeps them out of the way of the toys that actually get play. Before, I had to rummage through box after box looking for one specific toy. Now, the majority of them are laid out quite plainly so I don’t: a) forget they exist or b) have to waste 10 minutes of valuable pleasure time rooting around.

I also use one of these to store my cords and chargers. (Speaking of which, does anyone have a better method for storing those? That’s one area where I feel like chaos reigns supreme.) But, all in all, I’m happy with the way I’ve integrated sex toys into my bedroom.

Does my home look like a well-curated sex toy shop? Yes. Would I have it any other way? Absolutely not.