I was always fascinated by the original Sqweel. A wheel of rotating tongues! It looks so silly! I like oral sex! So, when I had the opportunity to review the brand new Sqweel Go, a miniature, USB-powered Sqweel made by Lovehoney, I jumped at it. I thought it might just be weird enough to work.

Lovehoney Sqweel Go

It’s not.

When I first turned on the Sqweel Go, which is very easy to operate since the button is big and squishy, I giggled like a lunatic. It was so cute! So silly! All those little silicone tongues! Naturally, I pressed my finger to the tongues to test how much pressure they could take before the wheel would stop spinning. On the first level, the tongues were able to be stopped very easily, but by the third, they were quite resistant. So far, so good.

The Sqweel Go has 3 straight rotation modes (slow, medium, fast) and 3 pattern modes. Its wheel of tongues and button are made of silicone while the body of the device is made of shiny ABS plastic. The wheel of tongues is permanently attached to the rotating motor, meaning you can’t remove it for easy cleaning. But, the entire device is waterproof and rechargeable.

Yes, but how does it feel!?

I grabbed my trusty Sliquid Sassy and got down to business. Only, once I got it in place and I turned it on, I felt nothing. I expected to feel a light lapping sensation, or at least some kind of odd smacking. What I felt was almost like a tickling sensation, and then nothing as my clit got used to the light swipes. I tried turning up the speed, but that obscured the sensation of the individual tongues even more. Naturally, I then tried the patterns, and found myself frustrated. So frustrated, in fact, that I tossed the Sqweel aside and grabbed something else entirely (probably either the Mona 2 or Doxy Wand). This same little performance repeated each time I attempted to jack off with the Sqweel Go.

With the Sqweel Go (and with the regular sized Sqweels, in fact) you have to use a lot of lube in order to not feel a drag across your skin. But if I’m going to be using a lot of my favorite lube – which isn’t even easily available in the country I live in – I want to be getting something out of it. Sure, I’ll squirt tons of lube on a Tantus dildo, the draggy silicone of the original WeVibe Touch, or even on the rare occasion that I whip out the Mystic Wand. But there’s a return on that lube investment. This is like “investing” with Irving Rosenfeld. I can legitimately get more sensation from lightly running a fingertip over the area, and my fingers don’t cost $59.

I will be really interested to see who likes the Sqweel Go, and who finds it underwhelming. I’m sure it must work well for someone. But for now, for me, it’s probably going into its proper box in my meticulously organized collection. It will not be placed with my Frequent Flyers.

Major thanks to Lovehoney, who sent me the Sqweel Go! I genuinely love some of their other house-made products, so you shouldn’t hesitate to check them out.