Bbold by Bswish: Bdisappointed

The Bbold by Bswish couldn’t Bworse.

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When I initially pulled the Bbold from its – admittedly pretty – packaging, I was excited. It helped a lot that Diddleworks, who sent me the Bbold in exchange for my honest review, included an extra soft storage sack and a lovely postcard. I’m a sucker for a little swag, it’s true. Beyond that, the Bbold had a nice curve and I thought it might be a little bit like the Je Joue Uma, which I’m still hoping to get my hands on.

At first, when I saw the depression on the bottom of the vibrating end, I thought it would be reminiscent of my beloved We-Vibe Touch. It looks like a nice little nook for your clitoris. What I wasn’t so excited about it was that hot pink seam. It’s very, very prominent in person, and in my opinion, really detracts from the luxury claims. If the Bbold were designed only for external use, it would be forgivable, but it’s also intended to function as a G-spot vibe. It’s possible that the texture could be pleasurable for some, but I’m not sure if that was Bswish’s aim or if it’s just a lazy design.

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Worse yet, there is absolutely no design insight offered in the manual. The manual is the most generic one they could possibly have included, only including information on how to turn on/off, charge, and clean their toys in general. The bulk of the actual message of the manual appears to be legal ass-coverings. Thanks, BSwish!

So, I started it up. What I will say about this toy is that it came pre-charged. That’s convenient. It means that I don’t have to wait an additional 2-10 hours to love or hate it, y’know?

When I first turned it on, I was impressed and I felt a little relieved. It’s loud, and shakes quite a bit, so at first I thought it was strong. Unfortunately, it’s just buzzy. It’s very, very buzzy. In fact, when I wrap my hand around the unit, the vibration is almost completely dampened, making it all but useless internally, especially on the highest straight vibration setting. (There are 3 levels of straight vibration and 4 patterns. I can’t be arsed with patterns.) I thought that maybe I was exaggerating and didn’t want to needlessly knock a toy, so I grabbed the nearest pair of hands that doesn’t mind touching my goodies and asked him.

“Ok, hold this one in your right hand and this one in your left,” I instructed, holding out the Mona 2 and Bswish Bbold, both turned to their highest power setting. “Which one feels stronger? Can you still feel vibration in both?”

Uhhhhh…” My husband is actually Tina Belcher. “Yeah, this one is a lot stronger. I can’t really feel the vibrations in the other one.” A relatively impartial layman agrees: The Bswish Bbold, well, Bweak.

All told, sometimes my clit is alright with buzzy vibrations. It’s not nearly as picky as my G-spot, but it’s getting a bit more crotchety (pun very much intended) the longer I review. Going into my first test, I really wasn’t sure what to expect. I tried using just the very tip on low power to mimic how I start off with the Mona 2, but that wasn’t enough. I tried the divot, on both low and medium power, and that wasn’t doing it either. I turned it all the way up, and realized that the high power combined with the buzzy vibration actually made for less powerful vibration strength than a lower setting. Also, you have to cycle through every vibration function if you find you don’t like the one you just turned on. That’s not a characteristic of “premium” vibrators, Bswish. Frustrated, I threw it aside and reached for something else.

For weeks, I tried using it during warm-ups. It was one of those vibrators that felt alright, but just not good enough. I always ended up reaching for my Mona 2 or my original We-Vibe Touch. Finally, my husband persuaded me to just try using the Bbold, without anything else, “for science. You owe it to your public!”

Again, I tried the tip on low power. With a little concentration, it felt alright. The tip on medium power was nice, and I felt like I was marginally close to an orgasm a couple of times. But that just went on and on. I tried once again to use it at full power, but it became significantly less pleasurable, at which point I loudly sighed and cycled back through to medium. Tediousness is the enemy of orgasmic energy.

I’m telling you, I could. Not. Come. Could not. There was no orgasming happening here, friends. And thus, the end of an era. I can no longer get off with poorly made vibrators.

I maintain that cheapness isn’t the deciding factor. I’m not going to automatically like something because it’s $130, or dislike something else because it’s $23. It has everything to do with build quality, which is not the same across brands even in the same price category.

Bswish’s brand is split into three categories: Classic, Deluxe, and Premium. The Bbold is part of the premium line and costs $73. Knowing this, I have to assume that Bswish prioritizes looking like a luxury brand over performing like a luxury brand.

Overall, I can’t recommend the Bbold. It’s buzzy, loud, and in my opinion, poorly designed. I do, however, recommend you check out Diddleworks. The site design is neat and minimalist, their customer service is great, and their selection is wonderfully body-safe. Plus, they have a kick-ass name.

In other news, please check this amazing giveaway organized by the Redhead Bedhead to benefit a dear friend of hers undergoing cancer treatment. What could possibly be better than kicking cancer’s ass and having the chance to score some great prizes?!

  • http://www.dangerouslilly.com/ Dangerous Lilly

    I can remember for years, being tempted by various Bswish designs. Then I would read others reviews on “that site” and figure out that Bswish was Buzzy across the board. I’ve pretty much written off the entire brand.

  • http://HeyEpiphora.com Epiphora

    I love your partner’s “uhhhhhh.” That resonates with my life.