It just doesn’t fit.

The Raptor by Tantus is a stunning, well-made toy.  It passed my flame test with flying colors (well, with absolutely no change, which is passing).  Raptor is a realistic shape, complete with a head and testicles, but no veining.  The silicone feels soft, smooth, with a little bit of drag on the shaft and nearly none at all on the head.  Mine is a pretty, light purple (as are most of my toys for some reason).  The Raptor was designed for use in a harness, and particularly for folks who wanted a more manageable version of the T-Rex, which you could probably use to bludgeon someone if you were so inclined.

So what went wrong?  I have never, in my entire sexual history, had any toy or appendage that ginormous near my vagina.  At only 5in insertable, you would think, “Hey, I can handle that!”  Just wait… it’s 1.6″ wide.  Let’s turn to our high school mathematics skills, shall we?  That means the Raptor has a circumference of just over 5″.  After several attempts, a few including alcohol, I just have to wave the white flag of surrender.  I cannot get that sucker more than 1.5″ in.

For the first 1.5″, the full feeling is actually pretty great, and if I could get my muscles to relax, I think it would feel fantastic against my G-spot.  With the help of my partner, I did get the head fully inserted, but I also screamed bloody murder.  Since he’s a well-adjusted human being, he immediately desisted and reached for my Mimi to soothe my vaginal lament.  We tried again after a few minutes of clitoral stimulation, and were met with the same result.

All of my Raptor attempts included my absolute favorite water-based lube, Sliquid Sassy.  Normally, Sassy can get anything, anywhere.  (First butt plug experience was a rousing success due largely to Sassy and domestic microbrews.)  Because the Raptor is made of silicone, you should never use a silicone-based lube with it.  On the plus side, you can clean the Raptor however you want: antibacterial soap and warm water, toy cleaner, 10% bleach solution, or boiling.

I hate the saying, “Your eyes must be bigger than your stomach!”  In this case, I’m going to have to admit that my eyes are bigger than my vagina.  This baby is going back in its satin storage back until I’m ready to try again.  But I will try again, oh, I will try again.

Thanks so much to the folks at SheVibe for the opportunity to review The Raptor!