It’s been a very long time since I posted about this, but it’s exciting so I feel like broaching it again: online dating. I don’t think I’ve ever addressed here, properly, why I like it and why I don’t think it’s just for crazy cat ladies.
I’ve actually met some nice, normal guys online. Specifically, on OKCupid. It’s free, and there are a lot of students – both undergrad and graduate – in my area. Perfect, really, for casually dating or looking for something more serious. I swear! It’s true! Guys who have respected me, had life goals, and carried on great conversations! They just weren’t the guys for me - and that’s okay.
If you have the chance to check out someone’s profile before you go out, you can tell at least a couple of things about them. In my experience, people’s pictures are pretty accurate. I’ve never met up with someone and thought, “Wait, that’s him?” Usually, people at least try to give you a decent idea of who they are. You can find out if you have a couple of surface-level commonalities to at least get the conversation ball rolling, and it’s usually decently simple to weed out the guys looking for just sex and find guys actually looking for a date. (I know! I know! Dates!)
I’ve heard this little pearl of wisdom more times than I can count: “Friends first.” Here’s the thing about dating your friends: you can’t go out on a date – usually – and just take things back to normal if things don’t go well. You actually stand a chance of losing a friend if you try and fail to date them. Sometimes, this works out awesomely and you get to be best friends with benefits and commitment so like, you can cook dinner and then when you get food poisoning and can’t have sex later, you’re ok saying, “Hey, babe, I just vommed. Maybe tomorrow.” With a new dude, that’s intimidating. So yes, sometimes this works very well. But often, you lose friends. It’s also confusing for people like me who like to know where things stand. Does he have feelings for you? Does he want to take it further? Do you? What does it all mean?
If you start on a dating site, you have at least a decent idea of what the other person wants. They either want sex, a date, or a relationship. They may not know which of those three they want, but they probably don’t want to just be friends. So, if you go out once and you’re like, “Nah, dog,” it’s okay. You don’t have to see him again if you don’t want to! You can just keep going on dates with new dudes and practice your rad date skills ’til you meet a dude you want to go on a date #2, 3, 4, 5, and sex with! It’s grand! Trust me!
Ok, fine, I admit – there’s a dark side to online dating. Some people are weird. Really weird. If you’re curious, I actually once posted about my very first OKCupid date, which was not so nice. But I promise you, if you do some decent messaging back and forth and listen to your gut, you will run into one, maybe two total weirdos. And you will meet some decent people, even if you don’t end up with them. I firmly believe it was a great experience for me to learn to casually go on dates and enjoy myself with new people.
I’m really sorry if this post was horribly disorganized! It was a very long day. I had an intermediate microeconomics exam this morning, wherein my brain decided it hated algebra and screw that, it wasn’t doin’ it.
Have you ever tried online dating? What did you think? Are you skeptical?
Safe & sexy,